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[Lyeos]

Granted. They now just leave out key facts and skew results. The ones not making up the facts believe them to be true, and so don't believe themselves to be lying, so they get away with it.

I wish for a fish.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. It is a rockfish.

I wish for a grain of sand.

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

Granted. It's absolute zero and flying toward your head at the speed of light.

I wish my girlfriend would come home already.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted, she comes home followed by an army of malevolent kites.

Oh, and she's late because she's cheating on you.

I wish I wasn't such a horrible person.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You get tossed into a meat-grinder, because that's the best way to improve you.

I wish for a dinosaur half the size of pinky finger.

[Noel.se]

Granted. Its teeth are still sharp and it's a carnivore.

I wish for more paper.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. You receive about a tonne of fluffed, shredded paper.

I wish for a set of extremely unlucky dice.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, you use them and lose all your money in games of chance.

I wish for a flail.

[Aslandus]

Granted, you look like a fool as you mindlessly flail your arms about

I wish for beef jerky

[Eric Blank]

Granted. A bear wants your jerky.

I wish for a battery which never runs out of energy.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, it only outputs a pecojoule a second.

I wish for a flying, frying, sighing rhyme.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. You are now drying, lying (on the ground), and dying.

I wish for a semicolon.

[Karkov]

: ,

I wish for the mouse pads where I work at not to suck.

[Tawa]

Granted. They blow now.

I wish that I was better at drawing.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, you learn about rulers and you improve on drawing straight lines.

I wish I owned a copy of all the worlds books.