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[SOLDIER First]

Gaga Gaia becomes easier.

I wish his face was your butt and your butt was his face.

[Tawa]

Granted. Your wand is a fake and your children have been granting your wishes for you. It's touching until you realize that your wand was a fraud, and...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

16 years later

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I wish that this thread didn't fall back to like page 5.

[Aslandus]

Granted, it fell back to page 1 and you are the first poster. The thread never takes off, and it makes you sad.

I wish the "instert spoiler" button didn't look like a radioactive symbol

[blazing glory]

Granted,it's now replaced with the Biohazard symbol.

I wish the word "hazard" didn't suddenly look and sound like a nonsense word to me.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. All the other words you knew have been uncoupled from their meanings.

I wish for a lump of clay.

[TD1]

Granted. It's that stuff between your ears.

I wish for me to be happy.

[Tawa]

Granted. You are happy, because you are insane.

I wish for pizza.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, you get bitten on the spinal cord by an escaped lab viper that injects pure dopamine.
Granted, you ARE pizza.

I wish someone would attempt one of xkcd's hypotheticals and get away with it.

[Tawa]

Granted. It is the one where you mount a Gatling gun on your car and take off down the highway. You attempt it and crash into a cliff face.

I wish for Nintendo Hard NES games.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. All NES consoles and emulators and specifications and memories of the technical details of all of the above vanish in clouds of magic smoke, with severe health effects for those personally acquainted with the NES.

I wish for an apostrophe.

[Tawa]

Granted. It's in your name. You now sound like an Elder God.

I wish that the DOS version of Dragon's Lair had the button indicators that are supposed to be there.

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

Granted. It's in your name. You now sound like an Elder God.

I wish that the DOS version of Dragon's Lair had the button indicators that are supposed to be there.

Granted, but they are covered in blue boxes.

I wish it was December.

[blazing glory]

Granted but all game releases to be released this year is moved forward to the same time next year,I beat you up all year long until Shadow of Morder finally releases and I get distracted long enough for you to escape.

I wish for the interesting games to release.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted, they are released as buggy messes with the promise that they will be fixed. You spend all of your money on them and then find out that the devs have all abandoned their games and have run off with the money.

I wish for more time in school, specifically longer 4th and 6th periods.

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

Granted, school now takes up 80% of your day. The other 20% is devoted to eating and sleeping. There no longer is free time.

I wish humans could no longer directly lie.