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[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
You turn into ice

I wish for 100 less internet trolls

[tuypo1]

granted 100 Internet trolls are killed by angry people but they become martyrs causing 1000s of new people to become trolls

i wish a portal gun

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
You drop into an lake and die

I wish for an turret

[tuypo1]

granted but it sees you as an enemy and shoots you to death

i wish i could write for all genres

[Audioworm333]

Granted, but no one takes your literature seriously.

I wish I wasn't a horrible person.

[hops]

Granted. You becomes God. And loses your sentience and sense of identity in the process.

I wish for infinite garden gnomes.

[Lenglon]

Granted, they steal anything small and not nailed down, and you can't keep any food in the house at all.

I wish for 5000 balloons.

[Audioworm333]

Granted. They all push up against you in your house and smother you.

I wish I was better at drawing.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, you learn to draw masterpieces. Then you lose both your arms, legs, lower jaw and tongue making you incapable of drawing at all.

I wish I was omnipresent.

[blazing glory]

Granted,you are everywhere,which also means everything is inside you,giving you numerous infections and shattered organs.

I wish I wasn't hungry.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You aren't hungry because you're dead.

I wish Blazing Glory would put a space between his commas and the words following them.

[Lenglon]

Granted, he reposts every single post he has ever made, corrected for grammar and spelling, in every thread on the forum. the forums go down for days, and during this time he corrects not simply every post he has ever made, but every post anyone has ever made. when the forums come up again, he posts the fixed posts in every single thread, showing everyone their correctness.
the forums go down again, and this time they never recover.
There is no more Bay12.

I wish I had 275,813 balloons.

[Audioworm333]

Granted. Some asshole with an LMG comes and pops them all with it.

I wish for unlimited wishes.

[TD1]

Granted. Time resets after each use.

I wish that Tolkien was still alive. 'Twould be cool.

[Tawa]

Granted, but James Oliver Rigney Jr., better known as Robert Jordan, was never born.

I wish that Giga Gaia was easier.