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[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, you slam a door on a pot of jam. The pot breaks and a piece of glass imbeds itself in your foot. The wound becomes infected and because you hallucinate when you call someone for help you are talking into a banana. Eventually you die of infection.

I wish for cybernetic enhancements.

[Lyeos]

Granted, but they're all broken.
Sucks not beings able to walk or use your arms, doesn't it?

I wish for a pencil.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, its nib always breaks.

I wish for working cybernetic enhancements.

[Alev]

Granted. Unfortunately, all they do is make buzzing noises.

I wish for a Windows computer.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, it is windows 1995 and you can't update it.

I wish for a nice breakfast.

[flabort]

Granted. You enjoy live bees in warm milk, right? I think it's nice that your spouse made it for you, and it's breakfast.

I wish for a patch for a certain windows 95 game so it will work on my computer since the current incarnation of Sim City sucks compared to 2000.

[lemon10]

Granted. You get the patch for Sim City 2000 to work on your computer installed. The "patch" is called windows 95. Have fun with that.

I wish that the next xbox isn't named something stupid.

[KingofstarrySkies]

Granted. It's called the Playbox 18. You never said IN WHOSE OPINON.

I wish explosions.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, your explosives go boom when you are setting them up.

I wish I had a reality bomb.

[hops]

Granted, your observable reality is bombed from you as you get knocked into a coma by an explosive.



I wish for fabulousness.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, it is crystallised and used as a weapon to wipe out a billion people. But at least they died fabulously.

I wish I was a Dalek

[Noel.se]

Granted. The first thing you do is self-extermination.

I wish for all consonants to be s.

[Tawa]

Ssasses. Sososy ussessasss you ass is is usssasses.

I wish that I didn't just say "ass" like four times.

[Lyeos]

Granted.
You said it seven times.

I wish the person I convinced to join the forums would stop being antisocial and post more.

[Tawa]

Granted. They post so much that everybody is ninja'd every time by cupkate's posting. All posts become posts by cupkate.

I wish for unlimited breadsticks.