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[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, a burgher comes to visit, his profession is a butcher. When he finds out you have no meat and that you are wasting his time he butchers you and sells the meat from his shop.

I wish I was the leader of the Irish Communist Party

[Arx]

Granted. Communists must be eliminated; if you encounter one, please report them to the Computer. Remember, the computer is your friend!

I wish I had a doughnut.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, its the big one from donut shops held up the statue. The police also want you for robbery

I wish for more books

[flabort]

Granted. The books are alive, want to eat you, and the only way to calm them down is to cast a charm spell. You don't know magic. Oh, and they can turn other books, like the ones in your private library, into more living books.

I wish to take command of this veritable army of living books.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, but to do so you must become a book yourself and sadly a book burning is taking place nearby.

I wish there were more games where you could be evil.

[hops]

Granted. You get Nazi Germany Simulator, with all the perverse DLCs.

I wish that I am the prettiest princess.

[Alev]

Granted. The person who thinks you are the prettiest happens to be a necrophiliac.

I wish for a laptop.

[tuypo1]

Granted but it's filled with a large variety of illegal content you get sent to jail for life

I wish the bay 12 forums dident restrict sexual content

[blazing glory]

Granted but Toady one makes a new forum and all the Bay12ers go over there and your not allowed in.

I wish tuypo1 didn't border on violating forum guidelines.

[tuypo1]

Granted but I go well over them and get baned leaving empty holes in many rtds

I wish I had the skill to run an rtd

[Noel.se]

Granted, but you don't have the time.

I wish i could run faster.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted, but you can't stop running.

I wish Lyeos thought more of his games.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, he thinks highly of the games he owns and stops posting on Bay12 to play them. Following this his account is taken over by a spam bot which raises his ppd even higher.

I wish I could play historical sandbox games and then watch what happened in the alternate timeline.

[Alev]

Granted. You work all day and night the rest of the year.

I wish for a watchcap that fits me.

[Orange Wizard]

Granted. You fit perfectly inside the watchcap, and are so comfortable you never leave.

I wish for a functioning toaster.