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[Lord_lemonpie]

Granted. Because of the huge amount of threads, bay12 crashes and toady dies.

I wish that my mother's spaghetti didnt taste like moldy feces

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Your mothers spaghetti tastes amazing, like my mother's spaghetti. Its poisonous, though.

I wish the computer lab was open

[flabort]

Granted. It's open to the athletics department, and your entry is still denied.
But you're determined, so you try to get in anyways, and wind up charging straight into the football captain. He looks angry.

I wish I didn't have this damnable sore throat, or this hell spawned cough that causes me to loose all muscle control and contort in odd ways whenever a fit comes over me.

[TalonisWolf]

 Granted. You are dead.

 I wish for perfection.

[BadLemonsXI]

Granted. Your drink beer until you think every thing is perfect.

I Wish for some beer.

[flabort]

Granted. It's made out of lemons. TalonisWolf happens to notice you're missing and not drinking the beer, so he drinks it.

I wish cough drops didn't taste so awful.

[BadLemonsXI]

Granted It doesn't any more. It tastes good. . . So good it becomes the only thing you will drink. . . . And that is not a good thing.

I wish for free adobe programs.

[RAM]

So much ads. And anyone tries to provide compatibility for their filetypes? Lawsuit... And they are everywhere, so you have no choice but to use them, and suffer perpetual ads, or completely cripple your software usage. You can haz documentation >*_*<? No reader? No wai  >-_-<...

I wish for no Adobe programs.

[BadLemonsXI]

Granted, many many amazing digital art is never created the world is now a sadder place.

I wish for more amazing digital art.

[flabort]

Granted. Amazing digital arts start appearing behind a paywall. It gets to the point where the digital art scene is almost entirely behind a paywall, and you have to pay $5 just to see a gif of a puppy.

I wish more online stuff was free.

[Tawa]

Granted. The internet goes bankrupt.

I wish for kobolds.

[blazing glory]

Granted,they stab you in the gut and steal all your loot stuff.

I wish to be able to dream.

[BadLemonsXI]

Granted, *you walk up* turns out DF was never made it was just a dream.

And if that is true then I wish not to wake up.

[flabort]

Granted. You never wake up, and live your life blissfully unaware that DF and your existence are both made up by the Matrix; or that

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

you are being used as a goddamn double A battery!

I wish that I could bend the spoon.

[BadLemonsXI]

Granted.
Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
flabort: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
flabort: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
IT works! but then You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.

I wish to take the yellow pill and see how deep the rabbit-hole goes.