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[Lyeos]

Granted. They also die faster.

I wish for Sputnik.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. They write so fast, whatever they are writing on is set on fire, forcing them to do it again. And again. And again.
Granted. You get a satellite dropped on your head from space.

I wish for a much, much bigger attention span and infinite free time.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, God lets you take over and you have to listen to people whine.

I wish for authors to write slower

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. This causes them to also live longer somehow, and take over the world. They execute you.

I wish to not need sleep, and not have to deal with any of the side effects.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, you don't need to sleep but you are kidnapped and experimented on to learn how to replicate the effect.

I wish I had a minigun in my sock drawer.

[blazing glory]

Granted but shortly after,your minigun runs off with all the other socks that disappeared forever.

I wish for a invincible spine.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, now you now have a jelly head.

I wish I had my lost socks back.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
they kill you.

I wish that I stopped posting in this thread

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, but your eyes become glued to this thread and you can't go anywhere else.

I wish I had a bucket

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
it is filled with lava.

I wish for some glue

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted it glues you to the floor

I wish I had another bucket full of water. (unlimited stone here I come)

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
you messed it up and now lava floods your house.

I wish for someting

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, you get something. But is it nothing? What is it? Is it here or there? Is it solid or liquid? Is it real or imagined? After pondering this your head hurts and you lie down.

I wish XCOM: Enemy Unknown was on sale.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

granted,
the game flops

I wish for everything

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, it all falls on top of you

I wish Mars was colonised now.