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[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, but Macs become sentient and refuse to play them just to spite you.

I wish for an untuned piano to fall on a morris marina and a member of the morris marina owner's club to throw excrement at the Scotsman.

[TD1]

Granted. Except for the fact that no one wants to do that, so no matter what power I have, they don't do it.

I wish Forum members wouldn't be brought into wishes in a negative way.

[Lyeos]

Granted, their families, however, do!

I wish for spaaaaaaace!

[TD1]

Granted. It is the mouth of a ravine. You seem to be falling into it. Darn.

I wish that Lyeos had a new house on top of mount Olympus, and that he had many, many subjects who worshiped him.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, but Zeus is angry at him for usurping his home and godhood fries him with a lightning bolt.

I wish I owned a Death Star

[Noel.se]

Granted. You now now own a Death Star in a galaxy far, far away. Good luck reaching it.

I wish for a piece of coal.

[Varee]

granted it replaces your brain.
I wish for the time to stop moving

[Tawa]

Granted... wh... whaa... that isn't coherent.

I wish that Varee had posted a wish that made logical sense.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You explode in slow motion.

I wish for a skywhale.

[Tawa]

Granted.
"...what's this big thing that's approaching me quickly? I think I'll call it the ground!"
"What's that little thing down there, with the sticks of meat coming off its body and a big lump on top? I think I'll call it Lyeos!"
*SPLAT*

I wish I could have described a person from the view of somebody who had never seen a person better.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. When asked what you think about your girlfriends family, you insult all of them because you can only describe people in an apathetic yet spiteful manner. You are lonely.

I wish to murder all the elves.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, you die of exhaustion during the process.

I wish for a can of petrol, a lit match and a tazer.

[Tawa]

Granted, but you drop the match on your clothes and burn up.

I wish that I could figure out why Cataclysm won't run.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You realize it's because your computer has become sentient and is planning to take over the inte-

THIS POST IS INVALID. CATACLYSM IS DEMONS. IT WILL NEVER RUN AGAIN. DO NOT TRY TO RUN IT.

I wish that I could figure out why my computer is planning to take over my desk.

[Tawa]

Granted. It is the start of the Matrix. You are the first to go.

I wish that there wasn't any grinding involved in the pre-Marsh Cave part of Final Fantasy 1.