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[jaxy15]

Granted. The meal is a giant bacon burger, with bacon pizzas being the buns. You die from a heart attack a few hours after eating it.

I wish for snails.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. They're freaking huge, and eat you somehow.

I wish for magic.

[flabort]

Granted. As you become a focal point for magic energy, it attracts my demilich form, and I eat you.

I wish to eat more souls. More magic.

[WillowLuman]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish for water.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. It contains dissolved radioactive isotopes.

I wish to be free.

[flabort]

Granted. You are free to use in any way the people like.

I wish to use Eric as an Assassin.

[Tawa]

Granted. However, you must obtain a Helm of Opposite Alignment to make him evil and qualify as an assassin. The only Helm of Opposite Alignment in existence is glued to the wall of the Pit of Doom.

I wish that I was forty-two times as wizardly.

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

Granted, 42*0 still equals zero

I wish I had magic powers.

[Argonnek]

Granted. You suddenly have great magical power. However, because you have no idea how to use it, it spirals out of control and leaves large portions of the landscape uninhabitable.

I wish I had seven league boots.

[blazing glory]

Granted,you have boots seven leagues long.

I wish for the best music to exist.

[Karkov]

Granted, we couldn't remember it though, so we'll just have to sing a tribute.

I wish work was over already.

[TD1]

Granted. You're fired.

I wish Karkov had an extra 8 hours to work. Mwahahahaha.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. He now works for Dreamworks.

I wish to have an army of animators at my command.

[KingofstarrySkies]

Granted. They rebel, and you are castrated and hung.

I wish for a volcano under the whitehouse.

[Tawa]

Granted. You are unaware of the fact and are elected president. You have just finished moving in as it erupts.

I wish that modern mainstream music sucked less. A lot less.