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[Prophet]

Granted. Your trapped in your shell shaped lamp forever.


I wish for more Zalkoz wishes.

[Lyeos]

Granted, all of them involve me removing his liver with a rusty spoon, then hacking off his limbs one by one with my cleaver before removing his tongue and filling his mouth with salt, then pouring vinegar over his wounds. Keh. Keheheh. Keheheheheheheh!

I wish for kindness for everyone else.

[ZalkozDestbro]

Granted everyone became kind of "weird" and made every situation uncomfortable.

I wish I knew when and where to say certain jokes.

[Prophet]

Granted. It's never OK to say them.

I wish for Zal to be god!

[Lyeos]

Granted, he's only a god in name, though, and doesn't have any power. Plus, his godhood was awarded posthumously, sooo....

I wish for a fish on a dish.

[Prophet]

Granted. You get a live fish on a dish that smacks you on the face with its tail.

I wish that I could control time and space.

[ZalkozDestbro]

Granted but you can only control one particular time and one particular space


I wish I was a volcano

[Prophet]

Granted. You fall into the volcano.


I wish for CATS! Lots and lots of cute unkillable Cats.

[flabort]

Granted. They identify you as a Commoner, and murderglomp you. Then go murderglomp most of the city you live in.

I wish for a team of adventurers to come visit my lair so that I can kill them for their tasty XP.

[ZalkozDestbro]

Granted they arrive within minutes and knock you unconcious. These are very rude adventurers.


I wish for a gummy bear flamethrower

[Lyeos]

Granted, it melts and explodes in your hands.

I wish for Skullgirls.

[Tawa]

Granted. You have girls made of skulls. They are glued to the walls of your home permanently and are very unsettling.

I wish the edges of my pretzel weren't overcooked.

[ZalkozDestbro]

Granted the entirety of the pretzel is now overcooked.

I wish for more people to agree with my decisions

[Lyeos]

Granted, they're perfectly cooked, and as an added bonus, literally razor sharp.
Granted, the world is now even worse, sir. Nice job breaking it, Zal!

I wish for a pail.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Granted. You have girls made of skulls. They are glued to the walls of your home permanently and are very unsettling.

I would love that.

[Tawa]

Granted. One more person agrees. That person is never a person you know.

Granted. It is over your face and obscures your vision of the skulls on the wall.

I wish I knew everybody.