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[hops]

Granted. You also don't have a face. You have tentacles on your back. You are now Slenderman.

I wish for someone to whip me.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You are Laura in "Legolas by Laura"

I wish for

[Eric Blank]

Granted. I am here to claim your soul.

I wish for teleportation.

[Lyeos]

Granted, that gun you thought would stop the villain was filled with blanks. You've failed to save the world, HugoLuman. Why?

Granted, you teleport into a meatgrinder. It isn't pretty.

I wish for buuuuuurns!

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. Mr Burns appears. He is now a celebrity, and as such has more influence than most politicians. Have fun with that~

I wish for more card games.

[flabort]

Granted. A game that uses Steam Trading Cards is created, and everybody spends all their time and money trying to collect cards to play it with. Economic collapse happens as nobody's working, and all the money is going to the same people.

I wish for Steam Trading Cards.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Pay $20.

I wish Propman was online.

[Tawa]

Granted yo, but he is online cuz dat schmoooove muthafucka has jacked tha fuck into Bizzle12 ta delete Dwarf Fortress from tha internizzle (and also Toadyz computer).

I wish I had a hype fo' forum game uppimpin dependability.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

(removed)

[blazing glory]

Granted,but all of time stops until I finish my nap making it appear as though nothing has happened at all.

I wish for a good drink.

[hops]

Granted. You get the liquid form of the concept of goodness. It tastes like liquefied brains.

I wish to punch sharks.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You are dumped into a lake full of very hungry sharks. Said lake is surrounded by a really tall wall of concrete. Have fun punching them.

I wish for a butter knife.

[blazing glory]

Granted,you get a knife made of butter.

I wish for absurdly specific wishes,to make them harder to corrupt.

[hops]

Granted. You get an Atari console with a magical Dwarf Fortress port on it.

I wish for the ability to control time.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
you get the ability to stop time all together and you use it accidently........

I wish for an pet noddy.