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[Shoruke]

Granted, but you have trouble putting them into words so they still sound rather silly.

I wish for a pet duckling! One that will stay as a duckling instead of growing into a full-sized duck!

[Lyeos]

Granted, it's a horse-sized duckling that eats your legs!

I wish my post already kinda bad quality for my RtD wasn't going downhill quite as fast as it is.

[BadLemonsXI]

Granted. instead of going down hill it falls off a cliff 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

nuh I think it been funny so far

I wish for more fuzzy pick blenkets

[flabort]

Granted. Everything turns into fuzzy pink blankets. The atmosphere included.

I wish for more eldritch power.

[Arcvasti]

You have more eldritch power. Good Job. Now what? Eventually, you do the obvious thing and go grimdark. That... doesn't end well for you. Or the population of.... well, anywhere.

I wish for balloons.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you get balloons filled with cement, dropped right onto your head.

I wish for more time to write the next update!

[blazing glory]

Granted,time has stopped.

I wish for more internet.

[Arcvasti]

Granted. With its new mass, the internet gains sentience. And takes action based on what it is primarily composed of. Its... not pretty.

I wish for coloured string.

[blazing glory]

Granted,it's colored white.

I wish for no more pasty white nerds.

[hops]

Granted. All pale people suddenly die. You are now a genocidal warlord.

I wish my writing doesn't sound so stilted.

[Noel.se]

Granted. Your writing stops to exist.

I wish I was better at writing English.

[Arx]

Granted. You now facepalm every time you see one of your old posts.

I wish for time, again.

[hops]

Granted. You get 1 more second.

I wish I was cuter.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
You get crushed.

I wish for Some dark matter.

[blazing glory]

Granted,some of the dark matter in space now belongs to you,it's still there though.

I wish for a cute kitten.