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[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, but a virus infects it.

I wish HTTYD 2 was out in Ireland now.

[Scotsmen]

Granted. The Second Hyper Tyrannosaurus Tyrant that causes Your Death is now in Ireland.

I wish for more people to use acronyms for things, so I can use those acronyms for very different words.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted but now they use loads of acronyms and and it causes you to go insane.

(Now to help you out)

I wish NATO had fought the USSR in the PRC while using WMDs to annihilate their homelands which is OTT and OP. LOL

(Have fun)

[Lyeos]

Granted, you've basically just initiated Fallout in the real world. Woo!

I wish for severe punishment.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Kevak is accidently killed during his punishment for not updating his games.

I wish that I would know in advance who would corrupt this wish.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, you know who will corrupt it half a second before its corrupted.

I wish for Mmm....sludge...

[Scotsmen]

Granted. You make sludge out of M&M's. It is so delicious that you eat exactly one ton of it, before exploding, sending blood chocolate and guts chunks of M&M's everywhere.

I wish I was better at modding DF.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you can now successfully install mods. You're still terrible at playing, though. Intentional misinterpretation wins again.

I wish for a bladed weapon.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. There is a sythe sticking out of your now-dead skull.

I wish for ninjedits.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Everybody edits their ninjas. You are sad because you do not have a ninja.

I wish for snuggly cuddly bunnies.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, but they become homicidal bunnies if they eat after midnight

I wish for an end to the recession

[Tawa]

Granted. The Great-er Depression begins 42 hours later.

I wish that I had a heron-marked sword that is not cursed, sticking out of some part of me or my loved ones, or being used or is something I am using to kill or injure me. (tl;dr I wish for a heron-marked sword that I am given in a creative way that does not involve my death.)

[ShadowHammer]

Granted. Unfortunately, you happen to also be mostly invincible, with a heron-marked sword being your only Achilles heel. Also unfortunately, you are currently being imprisoned by your greatest foe, and when your wish comes true, the sword appears on the ground in front of you, just out of your reach.
It's not out of your greatest enemy's reach.

I wish for a pet dragon. Try not to use the obvious.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, but it so large that it does not notice you and devours all the food in its path and eats you out of house and home

I wish I was stuck by lightning and died

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but where the hell are you going to keep it? It's not like it will fit in your house...
Granted, but they manage to restart your heart 3 hours later. You live again, but in a vegetative state.

I wish for an economically sized pet dragon. Try not to use either of the obvious ones