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[Worldmaster27]

Granted. However each copy is more adorable and sentient than the last.

I wish I was fully awake so I could attempt more theorycrafting.

[jaxy15]

Granted. Here's a cup of really nasty cold coffee.

I wish I could permanently remove things from my memory.

[blazing glory]

Granted,but it causes collateral damage,you'll lose a year's worth of memory if you forget something in that year.

I wish to not have insomnia.

[Noel.se]

Granted. You are dead.

I wish for more human brains.

[Lyeos]

Granted, they're in the people they're supposed to be in. What, you expected me to extract them for you?

I wish for a lethal dose of sarcasm.

[Scotsmen]

Granted. They are in a hole, in a hole, in a hole in the bottom of the seeeeeeeea.

Granted. Someone uses it on you.

I wish this thread didn't update so fast.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. It dies from the lack of posts.

I wish I was a diplomancer.

[Lyeos]

Granted, but there's nobody left to diplomance.

I wish I didn't just see a blatantly obvious, horribly personality-warped ripoff of a book character in another thread. They didn't even bother changing the name.

[blazing glory]

(May I see it?)

Granted,they instead ripoff the entire book.

I wish to know where this ripoff is.

[Tawa]

Granted. You never saw it and move on ignorantly with your life, having given up power as a result.

Granted. It is in the Necronomicon. You are compelled to read it and go batcrap insane.

I wish that there weren't so many contradictory sayings.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, but stupid responses  increase dramatically.

I wish for bloodsteel.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You get a bloodsteel blade right in your chest.

I wish my teeth were as strong as iron.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, everything you try to bite becomes as strong as steel.

I wish for bloodsteel skeletons. :"D:D":"D":DD":":"D:"D:"D:"":"":"D:"D:"D":DD:

[Lyeos]

Granted, your skeleton is made of serrated bloodsteel. You die.

I wish that good, nonlethal, non-poisoned cookies would fall from the sky at a safe speed.

[Tawa]

Granted. The cookies are chaotic good and start a revolt in your stomach.

I wish that Cataclysm was somehow more awesome.