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[Worldmaster27]

Granted. The horses ride off with your special-edition cards.

I wish for surprises.

[blazing glory]

Granted,the sudden death of everyone around you and you contracting a nasty illness surprises you.

I wish to be accepted into this instead of inevitably being rejected because everyone else is more creative.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You are accepted, but nobody is happy with you because you are too uncreative.

I wish for biscuits.

[blazing glory]

Granted,they are evil poison biscuits that get stuck in your throat and make way to your lungs.

All because you wanted something harmless without being specific.

I wish to change time.

[Scotsmen]

Granted. You change the time on your clock to three hours earlier than it should be, and are now three hours late to everything.

I wish for a TARDIS.

[JackOSpades]

 granted, you're late so you get a TARDIS slip and sent to the office.

I wish I could resist terrible puns but alas I cannot.

[Scotsmen]

Granted. You are now an even more unfunny person.

I wish I had a real sense of humor.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. You find wobbling jello hilarious.

I wish for SAO.

[Scotsmen]

Granted. You have a Seriously Awful Organ. Said organ is your heart. You die of heart failure.

I wish for INFINITE WISHES.

[Lyeos]

Granted, but none of them will be granted until you use them all.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. You stop existing.

I wish for Sword Art Online to be real.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you die.

I wish I had remembered to put my wish in my last post.

[Tawa]

Granted. Your wish was a conglomerate of internet memes.

I wish for conglomerate.

[Lyeos]

Granted, it crushes you. And those you love. And those that you mildly like.

I wish for a lighter.

[Tawa]

Granted. It is a cursed potion of level gain. Drinking it makes you lighter than air, causing you to float to the ceiling.

I wish for a blessed potion of level gain.