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[WillowLuman]

Granted. A nearby lake has a volcanic burp, sending a wave of carbon dioxide through your town. You are not killed but knocked out for 2 days. Sleep well.

I wish for lakes prone to that to be given pipelines to drain deadly gasses.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. There's only like a dozen of the things, but the governments of the world increase their tax rates tenfold, build a cheap-ass CO2 filter system in each one and somehow spend seven trillion dollars, and never explain why they refuse to return the tax rates to pre-hugo levels. Everybody thinks you're Hitler's great grandson.

I wish for fewer horses to feed.

[blazing glory]

Granted,fewer horses are in your stable,they are in your house instead.

I wish for more 12-13 rated games so I could play stuff that didn't insult my intelligence but wasn't hoarded for 16-18 year olds.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Here's a shotgun. You know what to do.
Granted. The Australian government collapses.

I wish for a DF Honest Trailer.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you get a magical talking trailer that can never tell lies. But it can only talk about Dwarf Fortress.

I wish it was okay for me to be passive-aggressive.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, it would be okay as long as someone only used it sparingly.

I wish for the most perfect research paper ever.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
but it was stolen.

I wish for 1 kitten to be born every wish that is corrupted.

[Arx]

Granted. They're all in your house.

I wish for a chocolate brownie.

[hops]

Granted. It's filled with weed. Not the psychedelic kind, the poisonous and lethal kind.

I wish I could be in an RTD that doesn't grind to a halt a few days after I get to play.

[jaxy15]

Granted. It is a really boring, badly written RTD that doesn't improve at all. It drags on for 5 years.

I wish for the ability to teleport anywhere I want whenever I want.

[nomoetoe]

 Granted, however you have to play a mini game every time you teleport and you must win or else you'll be stuck in the void for eternity.

I wish for a fresh bouquet of roses

[Shoruke]

Granted, but their thorns grow at a ridiculous rate and soon start punching holes in the walls of your living room...

I wish for an extra 2 hours per day for sleep.

[Tawa]

Granted. Days are now precisely two hours longer. Everybody else is thrown off schedule and riots.

I wish Brendan didn't look like an idiot in the new Pokémon OR and AS photos.

[nomoetoe]

granted, he looks AWESOME, everyone else looks like an idiot. <-- no --> >:3 yes

I wish for some Some lozenges to appease, My wheezing when I start to sneeze.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
Too bad that the lozenges contain radon that cause lung cancer.

I wish for something to happen.