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[Hubris Incalculable]

Granted. I've taken the liberty of pouring it over your head.

I wish for freedom.

[Lyeos]

Granted, but somehow Kevak is carrying it in his stomach, he dies, falls in front of you, and lands on a mine that was at your feet.


Granted, zombies are free to eat you! Thanks!

I wish I knew whether to make a world of clocks or a world of playing cards...

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Clocks, they're more dynamic. That'll be $5000

I wish I had a good wish.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Whenever you go outside, random people shout "'MERICAAA!!!" at you.
Granted. You now know to make a world of steam.
Granted. Your wish is so detailed and gruesome, you get banned from the forums.

I wish that happened to me.
I wish people always shouted "MERICAAA!!!" as a greeting.

[~Neri]

Granted, however this only happens with rednecks.. Wait, half of them already do that anyways. Soo now all of them do it!

I wish for kitties!

[Lyeos]

Granted, kitties appear inside of your stomach and claw their way out.

I wish for an RtD with a survival-horror theme.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, I make it so its REALLY low quality.

I wish to grind up all animals big and small, and to set up parking lots and shiny shopping malls.

[Shoruke]

Granted. Now the Animal Rights activists are all up in arms at you for it. No really, they brought an RPG-7 and everyth-
*kaboom*

I wish the speakers on my parents' TV was fixed.

[hops]

Granted. The mechanics noticed that there wasn't surveillance equipment on the speakers and installed a microphone that you can't legally remove. Enjoy your Big Brother.

I wish I was a princess.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Hooray for constant abductions!

I wish for another XCOM DLC.

[Hubris Incalculable]

Granted. The repairman cracked the screen on his way out, though.

Granted. You are a contestant on Toddlers and Tiaras.

Granted. It's complete and utter shite.

I wish for !!FUN!!

[hops]

Granted. It's a 18+ Hentai DLC.
Granted. You are engulfed in magma.

I wish to be able to summon money whenever I wanted.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. It is 'fixed' and now fixed to 500 decibels of sounds for everything.
Granted. You are a princess, but the Kingdom of New Zealand is shocked when they find out you're a guy. In panic, every country declares war on your Kingdom.
Granted. They made it even more accessible for new players. (Read: streamlined and stupid)
Granted. You have a great time at the pool today.
Granted. However, the money must come from somewhere and you end up robbing your parents blind.

I wish everything was perfect, just the way I want it to be.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you can summon dimes, but they're lodged in your eyes.
Granted, but the way you want things to be isn't the way I want things to be, so I murder you.

I wish there was a good Day of Lavos gif.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but it's not really the way we want it to be
Granted, but it can't play on your non-high-tech computer

I wish for garlic bread.