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[nomoetoe]

Granted. Your whole family is killed in a car crash that was inadvertently caused by you. Now you must live with the guilt.

(I'm now worried someone will grant a wish with something like this and that it had already happened/is about to happen.  )

I wish I could do an awesome "I graduated!" dance!

Granted, it is AWESOME but it breaks all your bones...and tendons...and causes cardiac arrest.

I wish that no wish/granting of a wish will cause the suffering of other people to increase. (Unless I'm the one to cause it)

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. The amount of suffering remains the same, but the type can change.

I wish people who were suffering from cancer were instead suffering from malaria and vice versa; I am a sick, sick person.

[Lyeos]

Granted, as an added bonus, everyone who doesn't have AIDs gets it, and everyone who has AIDs get pneumonia!

I wish for crayons.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, you get a disease that causes crayons to fly out of your every orifice at 800 miles per hour.

I WISH FOR CHEESE! CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!!!

[Shoruke]

The Dovahkiin uses hir console commands to spawn 11,000 cheese wheels immediately adjacent to your house. Hilarity ensues, but your doors are inaccessible...

I wish my apartment would offer free laundry services to tenants 

[ComputerWarrior]

The Dovahkiin uses hir console commands to spawn 11,000 cheese wheels immediately adjacent to your house. Hilarity ensues, but your doors are inaccessible...

I wish my apartment would offer free laundry services to tenants 

Granted, but none of the washing machines will actually run.

I wish streets were made of fake gold.

[sackhead]

The Dovahkiin uses hir console commands to spawn 11,000 cheese wheels immediately adjacent to your house. Hilarity ensues, but your doors are inaccessible...

I wish my apartment would offer free laundry services to tenants 

Granted, but none of the washing machines will actually run.

I wish streets were made of fake gold.

granted all streets are now made from iron pyrite a lot of road accidents occur

i wish that an evil talking horse with an English accent and generally acted like a bond villain lived on my street and was my nemesis   

[blazing glory]

Granted,he quickly disposes of you since your a wimp.

I wish my download went faster.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
But thieves mistook the street for gold and was stolen.

I wish for an factory that can produce up to 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 kiloliters of ice-cream an day (far more than the mutiuniverse will ever demand despite being extremely popular in a few earth days )  that is not poisonous in anyway to any life form, is immune to melting while still great and is immune to been stolen, poisoned being destroyed in anyway possible expect for being eaten and being digested. The ice-cream has an Ph level of what ever ice-cream normally has (somewhere between 6 and 8 (strong acids and bases are out of the question)). The ice-cream has The bad nutrients taken out while the good nutrients still in it. The ingredients used is non-animal derived (PETA approves of this ice-cream) and are Made from GM plants (contrary to popular belief, anti-GMists are in the extremely small minority). The factory will have a website adverting the ice-cream and it has an page fully refuting the lies that anti-GMists tend to say, think, type and write. The ice-cream factory workers are  completely competent, is being payed An excellent wage, follows all laws and is happy with how the factory is in general. I legally own the factory and receive an small bit of the profit (about 3%) and I am competent enough to own effectively without wasting money. The profits received much higher than the upkeep and the machines are updated once a year and updating takes 6 hours (enough to make sure that the machines are fully updated and have no problems). The ice-cream will stay  extremely popular for forever and the ingredients come from fully sustainable source that will keep supplying my factory forever. I will not suffer any deaths, fates worse than death, any injuries, privacy invading people and bullying because of this wish. All I have to do to receive this wish is to wish for it and you get your wish right away.

[blazing glory]

It explodes.

I wish the previous poster hadn't completely ignored my wish.

[hops]

Granted, but thieves mistook your download for gold and was stolen.

I wish that I was smart enough to make a wish that benefit me and can't be corrupted.

[ComputerWarrior]

Granted, but thieves mistook your download for gold and was stolen.

I wish that I was smart enough to make a wish that benefit me and can't be corrupted.

Granted. Except this was your only wish.

I wish I could eat anything without choking or dying.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Granted, but the after effects are extremely painful and horrifying.

I wish for another wish.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted, as long as it is about kicking kittens.

I wish for every superpower ever devised.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You have no idea how to use them.

I wish for control over random number generators.