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[hops]

Granted. You stop feeling murderous because you killed everyone.

I wish I understood physics.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
But you have to go into an black hole first.

I wish that the mayor stops asking for beds made of anti-matter.

[blazing glory]

Granted,he asks for dark-matter instead.

I wish I had a decent time sink.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
but you don't know how to use it properly

I wish that I find an huge stack random food on the ground that's not poisonous or rotting.

[blazing glory]

Granted,it's horribly tasting food though.

I wish I got enough sleep.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
You died from an attack from an hungry Roc while you were asleep.

I wish that the elves will cause an curb-stomp battle against the goblins (with the elves being the winners).

[cahocachi]

Granted, but the goblins resurrect and obliterate the elves.

I wish my wish was incorruptible.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
but you just wasted your wish.

I wish for an giant cave spider named fun.

[hops]

Granted. You get a hungry giant cave spider named fun which proceeds to suck you dry and use your dead body as a cocoon for its young.

I wish that I was a cat.

[jaxy15]

Granted. An animal abuser "adopts" you.

I wish for a glowstick.

[blazing glory]

Granted,it's glowing because of radiation,have fun.

I wish bnahabra didn't exist in MH3U.

[cahocachi]

Granted, because only made-up monsters appear in the game; Bnahabra now roam your bathroom.

I wish I had candy, like, lots of it. Enough to fill my house up.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you actually end up living in a palace made entirely of chocolate. Too bad it's an unspecified - but trust me, it's a hot one - desert and you're never allowed to leave.

I wish for more wishes about combat between Objective and Kevak.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. They all involve them combating you.

I wish Objective and Kevak would have a pistol duel, winner take all the hugs.

[Lyeos]

Granted, they slap each other with pistols, then along comes a Lyeos to run them over with a train because they fought on the tracks.

I really, really wish I knew where my copy of Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny is.