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[Eric Blank]

Granted. They're all laughing at you and saying mean things about you.

I wish to have $5000 right about now that legally belongs to me and may be spent as I see fit, and acquiring it does not harm me or my family in any way.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, however your friends are harmed in various ways by my FABULOUS rainbow magic every-time you spend the money, the pain amount is determined by the amount you spend.

I wish for everyone who said mean things about my FABULOUS rainbow magic to die, so that I may raise them and make them into a FABULOUS undead army, who will do nice dances. c:

[WillowLuman]

Granted. It's sticking out the back of your pocket, quite visible.
Granted. With the entire population of Earth now undead, you have no one to impress with your crappy magic.

I wish for a 4-day weekend.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. There are now 7 weekdays, however.

I wish I could use magic.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. FABULOUS rainbow magic it is.

I wish for you all to read this thread in Morgan Freeman's voice.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. We are all happy and our lives are fulfilled. You monster.

I wish for a D20.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. It explodes the moment you touch it.

I wish for more players.

[Eric Blank]

(I don't have any friends :c)

Granted. You are suddenly surrounded by screaming children.

I wish I could type faster on this bloody phone.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You can type faster, but only when the phone is covered in blood.

I wish for rocket rollerskates.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, there explosive rockets. (bewm)

I wish for  blitzDungeoneer to go on a grand adventure with me, to undo the undeath of the world with our FABULOUS rainbow magic, and for our adventure to have ADVENTURE, horror, and romance. <3

[Eric Blank]

Granted. The horrific romance at the end involves being eaten alive by wolves whilst snuggling each other closely.

I wish my kitty would come home...

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Undead cats are breaking down your door. You begin an epic adventure, with your lost kitty as the final boss.

I wish I was a final, unbeatable, boss.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. Then somebody cheats and you die, but are not beaten.

I wish I was invincible.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, however your stuck in the core of the sun.

I wish that I hadn't been eaten by wolves and to be still alive.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You instantly regenerate any damage! But you still feel pain. The wolves keep feasting on your flesh while you are still alive. They never go hungry again.

I wish I had tame pet wolves who will follow my every command.