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[Ultimuh]

Granted, hshflgreljjiweajf gweughgdsl fsufhuiege.

I cats engfhblkghenkrjgnkejng cjkewgelög.

[blazing glory]

Granted,people now no longer have to say cats in the place of wish.

I wish for a healthy life style.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You become obsessed with your own mortality.

I wish to know why people keep wishing for people to turn into stuff.

[PTDfun]

Granted, that knowledge causes a stroke and you enter a persistent vegetative state.

I wish for a functional space elevator with laser propulsion lift.

[pisskop]

Granted,  It is as slow as any other elevator.

I wish it would stop raining this month.

[Tawa]

Granted. It stops raining. FOREVER.

I wish I was Morgan Freeman.

[PTDfun]

Granted. You were Morgan Freeman - up until yesterday.

I wish for name brand Tupperware (TM).

[Tawa]

Granted. You have Tuppumwear (TM). It is a non-existent thing.

I wish for people to thoroughly examine this post.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. On closer examination, there's not much there.

I wish people knew that conflating the tense in "I wish X was/were" with the past tense is the laziest and most boring way of corrupting a wish.

[Tawa]

Granted. They did know that, before. (I'm sorry, but you set yourself up for that.)

I wish that Pokémon had a wind type.

[JackOSpades]

 Granted, someone mistranslates it as "flying" when the English version is released.

I wish for Pokemon games to include Fatalities

[WillowLuman]

Granted. It gets banned for CORRUPTING R CHILDREEEENS! Also, PETA bombs Nintendo offices.

I wish PETA would stop advocating for the extinction of pit bulls.

[Tawa]

Granted. Several people undie and redie, as a result of Team Flare's actions combined with your wish.

Granted. They stop as a result of pit bulls' extinction.

I wish to be Morgan Freeman.

[JackOSpades]

 Granted you are Morgan freeman as the character he played in the Shawshank Redemption, unfortunately this is not a movie and no one is acting.

i wish PETA would just stop

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. They stop trying to prevent animal cruelty. It skyrockets.

I wish people were decent to their animals.