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[Shoruke]

Granted. The Hat-hatter hats so many hats so fast (and each of those hats is also a hat-hatter) that you are soon buried in hats. Some of them have sharp edges or smell bad. And at least one of them has tetanus.

I wish for time-bending powers!

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you can now bend clocks.

I wish for UNLIMITED POWEEEEEEEEEER!

[jaxy15]

Granted. You are snatched away by the government when you are sleeping and used to power everything across the entire world.

I wish I could eat shoes without getting sick.

[IronTomato]

Wh-
O-
Granted? They still taste like shit?

I wish for Texas.

[Tawa]

Granted. Enjoy having Spongebob, you sick freak.

I wish I could corrupt wishes better.

[Shoruke]

Granted. We are now all thoroughly repulsed at you.

I wish for a good night's sleep.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You have the most amazing night's sleep ever, but from then on, all of your sleeping is terrible.

I wish everyone would smile for five seconds.

[IronTomato]

Granted. You have the most amazing night's sleep ever, but from then on, all of your sleeping is terrible.

I wish everyone would smile for five seconds.

Granted. From today on, everyone on Earth is born with 5 seconds of smile-time. Once they use it, they can never get it back.

I wish for Spongebob, because I'm a sick freak.

[Tawa]

Granted. You are a terminally sick freak. Spongebob laughs as you die.

I wish for a 10-year old kid who looks like a muscley guy in his thirties.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. He beats you up.

I wish for a muscley guy in his thirties who looks like a 10-year old kid.

[Tawa]

Granted. He beats you up.

I wish I could use an actual computer for the first time in two weeks.

[Shoruke]

Granted. You are thrown in jail for abusing the human rights of someone who does simple math for a living.

I wish for healing magic.

[TD1]

Granted. It heals pain by making you no longer feel it. Those "healed" go to their peril humming happily.

I wish that exams would dispense chocolate cake before being started.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. The burst of high sugar means you crash and pass out in the middle of the test.

I wish people were rational.

[TD1]

Granted. These rational people hand out cake before exams, to motivate students. The resultant sugar-rush-crash causes all of them to collapse.

I wish people were irrational.