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[Tawa]

Granted. The genie somehow misheard "Skyrim" as "Dwarf Fortress".

GOOD LUCK MOOHOOHAHA

I wish for a sex tarp.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you are now Loreius.

I wish for Fus Ro Dah. (DAMMIT!)

Granted, you are now tarp times six. (Sex is Swedish for six.)

I wish people would stop ninjaing my wish grants.

[Tawa]

Granted. I am no longer a person and will ninja you FOREVEEEEEEEER

I wish for a mystery to solve.

[Shoruke]

Granted; the thread dies and everyone knows it's your fault. You monster. (so that's irony)

Granted. The mystery in question is your murder.

I wish for a set of 3D maneuver gear from Attack on Titan.

[IronTomato]

Granted, it's just a toy.

I wish for the next person to write their wish backwards.

[Worldmaster27]

.ti dnatsrednu t'nac uoY .detnarG

.ocat elgnis a rof hsiw I.

[darkpaladin109]

Granted. You get an ocat called elgnis.

I wish for a giant drill.

[IronTomato]

.ti dnatsrednu t'nac uoY .detnarG

.ocat elgnis a rof hsiw I.

((klat sdrawkcab wonk I .uoy no s'ekoJ))

Granted. You get an ocat called elgnis.

I wish for a giant drill.

Granted, some stranger is screaming and pointing it at you.

I wish for a single taco.

[Tawa]

Granted. Listen to my beautiful song.

O cat, you are so great
You adopt dwarves, making them glad
and, if I might mention myself
the title is taco backwards.

DAMMIT

NINJAS

Granted. You get a single taco. You are sad after you eat it.

I wish I had greatly heightened powers of observation and a job with a Southern Californian police department.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. You gain uncontrollable telepathy. Hey... are you still fine with hearing negative thoughts from copper co-workers?

(sucks for you, hahahaha)

I wish I won a fucking lottery.

[Tawa]

Granted. You are assassinated for your fortune.

I wish for fourth-level psionics.

[Lyeos]

Granted. Everyone else has fifth-level psionics or above.

I wish for a bottle of Yoo-Hoo.

[IronTomato]

Granted, the manufacturers advertised it falsely. It doesn't contain genuine Yoo-Hoo, instead, it's just that cheap knockoff called Woohoo. Wishers beware.

I wish for a William Shakespeare action figure.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. It talks, too. Unfortunately the only line it has is 'I bite my thumb at thee!'

I wish for Shakespearean knowledge.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted, you lose all other knowledge.

I wish for Fus Ro Dah!