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[Tawa]

Granted. You are completely unqualified to do so and are arrested guy practicing medicine without a license.

I wish for an an act of civil disobedience.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. I refuse to corrupt your wish.

I wish Bay12ers would stop becoming suicidal.

[TD1]

Granted. Everyone else is now suicidal.

I wish that no one would get depressed.

[Lyeos]

Granted. Nobody gets depressed anymore. It's actually quite nice, for a while. Suicide becomes nonexistent, people are generally more productive, and actually end up satisfied with their lives.... But, then we find out that people can no longer regret things, either. Homicide rates skyrocket, theft is more common, and the world is eventually bathed in atomic fire.

I wish I was better at corrupting wishes.

[TD1]

Granted. You bastard.

I wish that when people wanted to say good bye, they instead said "Live long and prosper."

[WillowLuman]

Granted. The world becomes a far worse place from the massive unintended consequences you reap from people's wishes.
Granted, but even today that means no one takes anyone seriously anymore.

I wish Kevak was a juggalo instead of a furry.

[Lyeos]

Granted, but it's arguably worse, so I force him to change back.

I wish everybody would dance now.

[TamerVirus]

Granted. They can't stop until they die of exhaustion. You have doomed humanity

I wish for something nice and fuzzy

[IronTomato]

Granted. You have bunnies. They quickly create more bunnies.

I wish for a planet.

[Lyeos]

Granted. Have fun living on Earth.

I wish IronTomato had granted TamerVirus Kevak instead of bunnies.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. The long-unshaven Kevak has been recovered from his hermit cave and kills TamerVirus for his internet access.

I wish the articles relevant to my academic research were in English.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. You can no longer understand English, however,

I wish I could fly.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You are a sparrow.

I wish for special eyes.

[darkpaladin109]

Granted. Your eyes are special because someone took them out of your skull, cooked them , and ate them.

I wish for a duck.

[TD1]

Granted. It is not alive.

I wish I hadn't read duck as something completely different.