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[Tawa]

Granted. Everyone is the same. As Forrest Gump.

I wish Forrest Gump's last name to be Gimp.

[Shoruke]

Granted. He becomes a very successful computer programmer, and has his last name changed to match the GNU Image Manipulation Program. He writes a script into it so that if you, or anyone in your vicinity uses it, it insults you for being short or some such.

I wish for easy-to-corrupt wishes.

[Noel.se]

Granted. That includes your wishes.

I wish for a gun.

[RAM]

You Swap places with the protagonist of Doom. There are plenty of guns, but, well, there are lots of folk trying to kill you, and you suspect that a lot more doom protagonists died then won, and didn't that game have a shortage of happy ending regardless? There are other issues too, your neck seems to be fixed and your posture is static, so looking up or down is impossible, and most of the items seem to either burn, sting, or taste awful... It is also sort of worrying that there is a one-man-army distopian-future-soldier type of character back where you came from...

I wish for hot creamed-corn on soggy pasta.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. It falls from the sky and onto your face.

I wish I could fight effectively using puppets.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you are very effective at making puppets fight.

I wish earwax tasted like what vanilla icecream currently, as in, before this wish is granted, tastes like.

[Tawa]

Granted. Earwax is now seven times as poisonous.

I wish for showmanship.

[blazing glory]

Granted,someone shows you his manship.

I wish the Cataclysm:DDA wiki was up to date.

[Shoruke]

The Cataclysm:DDA website goes offline. To reflect this, so does the wiki.

I wish for cheezburgers (with pickles and mayo).

[Caesar]

Granted. Sadly, your burger is made of human meat.

I wish to be sane.

[IronTomato]

Granted. No more Fun.

I wish you guys had remembered my last wish.

[blazing glory]

Granted, Your the only sane one left.

Grranted, we remember that we don't remember it.

I wish there weren't so many zombie games,lets have a fresh idea dev's!

[jaxy15]

Granted. By fresh idea you mean "every new game is an FPS game", right?

I wish for every Steam game ever.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You get all steam-themed games. Steampunk doesn't count, so there aren't any.

I wish I had all of the kittens in the world, without being crushed by them.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You get all kittens to ever have existed as well, so now you have a mountain of dead kittens behind your home.

I wish I was exactly thirty-seven times more Miles Davis than Miles Davis.