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[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You get a bag of chocolate potato chips. They don't taste as good as you would expect.

I wish I had a tasty cheeseburger right now.

[RAM]

You get the best cheezeburger ever! There is a small kitten sitting on your lap, it's whole body pointing intently at the cheezeburger wherever it moves. The whole of the internet is watching you, and judging...

I wish to become a sentient meme.

[Karkov]

Granted, you are now Cleverbot.  People use you to cyber and you can only speak in broken sentences.

I wish I could enter video game worlds at will.

[TD1]

Granted. However, you can't exit them at will.

I wish for perfect results in the upcoming exams!

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You get perfect results. So perfect, in fact, that the government dissects you to find out how smart you are.

I wish I had 50 cents added to my wallet.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. It is 50 1 cent coins. You have absurd amounts of trouble trying to get exactly 50 cents out of your wallet now.

I wish somebody would just goddamn post on my RTD. We need another player.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. They are posting to watch.

I wish everyone loved BlitzDungeoneer.

[Noel.se]

Granted. Everyone also hates everybody except BlitzDungeoneer. War ensues.

I wish for a Liberal Crime Squad.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. They kill your Moderate family for not being Elite Liberal enough.

I wish I was Elite Liberal.

[Noel.se]

Granted. You commit suicide after realizing that in the past you have treated animals like animals instead of treating them like people.

I wish i had a 1 dollar bill.

[TD1]

Granted. You now have a bill (Beak) fastened to you face, that at a local shop cost exactly one dollar.

I wish that the next wisher had an extra wish.

[Shoruke]

Granted. Unfortunately I wasted my wish on Chocolate Ice Cream, when I already had some, so the genie just went and got it out of the freezer.

I wish for... *wait for it*
...vanilla ice cream.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. It's been sitting out on the sidewalk for a couple months in the sun.

I wish there were only a few thousand ways to die, and none of them were painful in any way.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You have to suffer through each one... twice! It gets incredibly boring after the first eighty deaths.

I wish for teletype.

[Shoruke]

This is all you get.

I wish my flowers no longer required maintenance and upkeep.