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[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Because you ninja so often on the forums and everyone hates you for it, you are banned.

Your computer runs faster and faster until it opens a tear in reality, letting science fiction become truth. You've doomed us all.

I wish this wish wouldn't be corrupted.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Out of work genies will still jump you on the way home.

I wish for salsa

[TD1]

Granted. You now lead a perfectly non-corrupt life. Everyone is nice, there are no pains, wars, politicians, water fights...or fun...
Ninja
Granted. You receive it. But it eats you.

I wish to be a star.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You are locked in a glass case in the basement of a nerd who thinks he's a ninja.

I wish for more time.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. You get 1 extra second.

I wish for swords.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You are now immortal.

Granted. All of your enemies get +10 Legendary Swords of Blitz Slaying.

I wish BlitzDungeoneer didn't ninja everything.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

(ninja'd )

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Cannot be granted. It is my life calling.
(In all seriousness, though, I don't mean to ninja anything. I apparently have an amazingly good (or bad, depending on how you look at it) sense of timing.)
Granted. Millions of people worldwide replace him.

I wish for an infinity +1 blade.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You get an infinity +1 blade through the chest.

I wish for only bad things to happen to me.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You take complete control of the sad thread, bumping out other people seeking sympathy and guidance with your massive problems.

I wish I could do my collegiate research paper on Bay12 or Dwarf Fortress.

[TD1]

Granted. You do so, and create a masterwork research paper, in your own eyes. However, the marker can only discern mad scribblings and diagrams.

I wish that everybody in the universe had a horse.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Everyone but you gets a horse. You feel left out and sad.

I wish you were happy.

[TD1]

Granted. I steal your happiness.

I wish that we lived in a royalist world, where the Queen resides over everything, even law.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. I am the great Queen. I order everyone you know and love to be burned. I am a great Queen.

I wish I was the great Queen.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. Aliens invade and kill you, taking over your empire.

I wish I was above law.