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[IronTomato]

Granted. He refuses to kill mice. Mouse invasion begins.

I wish for shrimp. I'm hungry.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. The shrimp is rotten, and you die of food poisoning.

I wish I was immune to food poisoning.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. This takes away your immunity to anything else. You die soon after from the common cold.

I wish I had a dragon.

[Trapezohedron]

It is hostile. You consider your actions for a moment, but realize that you, a person stuck in reality, cannot do anything against a scaled beast with just a pipe.

____________________________________________________________________
__________________________YOU DIED___________________________

I wish I knew everything and not be insane by it.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You must go into hiding from opportunistic intelligence agencies.

I wish for luck on my midterm today.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You get bad luck.

I wish for something interesting to do.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. You build a tower of lava. You fail, and spill lava all over the place.

You died.

I wish for Excalibur.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Help BlitzDungeoneer fight off that dragon. DAMNIT
Granted, you get it, stone and all. You a king?

I wish I had a much smaller dragon. FOR SCIENCE.

[IronTomato]

Granted. You're in a spinoff of How To Train Your Dragon.

I wish for a peppermint patty. Make that spoil, I dare ya.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. It is the size of Jupiter, destroying planet Earth.

I wish I was Excalibur.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. DAMN NINJAS
Granted. The dragon takes you for its hoard

I wish for Axe Cop

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You are Excalibur. Three hundred years before King Arthur. NINJAS!

Granted. You are arrested, and summarily axe'd many questions about how much this hurts.

I wish cats could fly.

[WillowLuman]

(You were ninja'd I'm afraid. Grant mine.)

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. Cats subsequently die out, due to not knowing how to fly, and randomly rising several hundreds of metres, before dropping.

I wish I was a ninja.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You already are.

I wish my computer ran faster. And in the way computers are supposed to, not in the "well you'd better go out and catch it" way.