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[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. The can is 20m tall, and is on top of you.

I wish to live on an island in the sky.

[Tawa]

Granted.

This particular island is denser than air.

I wish for a flaming bloody sword covered in sheep guts.

[Shoruke]

Granted. The sword is embedded in your spleen.

I wish for MOAR BACON

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. You get enough bacon to cause a heart attack.

I wish all of humanity were relocated to the skylands.

[Tawa]

Granted. It's shoruke bacon.

In other news, local Bay12 resident shoruke has been found cooked into bacon. Shoruke is delicious.
Granted. You are no longer human and also alone.

I wish for this game to be less beninja'd.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Posts slow to the rate of DF updates.

I wish for Toady to release before Valve releases Half Life 3

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. After 2 million years, Toady releases DF 1.0. You, along with every other human currently alive are dead.

I wish I had a sword.

[Shoruke]

Granted. You receive a sword made out of coins that turn out to be chocolate coins that turn out to be poisoned.

I wish for Watch Dogs to be as amazing as it was hyped up to be at E3.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. It is a massive JRPG sword and you cannot lift it.
Granted, but they delay it until the next console generation.

I wish for a baked potato. No cheese or chile, just salt, pepper, and butter.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. It's poisoned.

I wish for a perfectly ordinary, uncorrupted sword.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You find one on sale for $1600.

I wish for a house made of unfeasibly large melee weapons.

[Tawa]

Granted. As your STR is below twenty-seven, you cannot open the "door of worthiness" which leads to the inside of the house.

[Lyeos]

Lack of wish. You die.

I wish for everyone else's heads to explode.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted, your friends' heads explode.

I wish for it to be 8:47 AM on a Saturday.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. This Saturday, the world will end on exactly 8:47 AM.

I wish more people posted on my RTDs.