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[Prophet]

Granted. As the ice caps melt a wormhole opens and transports it back to the present killing most of the humans on earth.

[NAV]

There was no wish. You wished for nothing. You are cast into the void.

I wish for this wish to not be granted.

[Prophet]

Granted. A tear between a alternate dimension and this one then forms the same wish comes out and is then granted.         

I wish that a was spider.

[Lyeos]

Grnted, a ws spider, then it got squshed nd is no longer prt of lphbet.

I wish a ws prt of lphbet.

[lemon10]

Granted. a comes back to life, but its still a spider. The a's spins webs all over all the Internets and all the books in the world.

I wish that gollum had stolen the ring back, killed Sauron, and then became the true master of the ring.

[Prophet]

Granted. Sauron then comes back to live as he can't die while the ring is not destroyed then kills gollum.

I wish that I was king of the world.

[Lyeos]

Granted. Everyone else in the world dies, and, due to insanity, you claim to be king of the world. Nobody opposes your claim, because they're all dead.

I wish for a pouch of gold coins.

[Dwarf4Explosives]

Granted. It falls on you from a height of fifty meters, killing you instantly.

I wish for a glass a plastic cup of full of clean water.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. To seal in the clean, a hearty plug of bacon fat has been used to close the mouth of the cup.

I wish dragon's dogma wasn't a ps3 exclusive.

[Prophet]

Granted. All the gaming consoles then explode.

I wish for a loyal non-deadly pet snake.

[Lyeos]

Granted. Both you and your snake are eaten by a giant mongoose.

I wish I could travel back and forth and through time, always ending up where I wanted to go.

[Shoruke]

Granted. You may traverse the timeline at will, but every time you do, you find yourself in another alternate dimension of Earth; your knowledge of history/the future is worthless, and you never find your way home again.

I wish Pokemon were real.

[Prophet]

Granted. The feral pokemon then kill and eat you.

I wish that cannibals ruled the world.

[RAM]

After the bombs land, only the cockroaches and spiders remain. Although things do start to get cool once the spiders domesticate the cockroaches and use them for mounts...

I wish that all of existence was just something I was dreaming, and that my awakening is imminent.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You wake up. Existence still exists. You went too deep. D=

I wish flowers smelled like ass, for everyone.