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[WillowLuman]

Granted. 56F outside, Acid Rain.

I wish I knew how to be a numbers GM.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You are now General Motors, and the only cars you know how to produce are shaped and named after numbers.

I wish I could think of better ideas.

[Tawa]

Granted. The ideas all involve cheese.

I wish for a cat.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You're allergic to it, and it sprays everywhere.


I wish for internets.

[Nirur Torir]

Granted. The 'net is fractured into several smaller internets. Each country has at least one. Most have one per major political affiliation. ISPs love being able to charge people for each internet they sign up for, and importing foreign internets is horribly expensive.

I wish for bioengineers to invent cutebolds.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but the ecological niche they would fill is already occupied by human criminals, so they near extinction soon after their release.

I wish for rocket feet.

[RAM]

Your feet are now I.C.B.M.s, they have no warheads, but it is sort of impossible to walk, also, you are perpetually does the splits to remain attached to both of them. Obviously, the acceleration would kill you shortly after the air pressure kills you which would happen just before you are torn off and incinerated if they ever actually fired. and it doesn't need to be said that trying to sell them, or even allowing anyone to examine them too closely, would be extremely illegal.

I wish to kill people.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You grab your FN 5.7 and fire it randomly out the window, killing a helicopter pilot which shortly nose-dives into your room. Problems.

I wish for voluptuous sound.

[Tawa]

Granted. However, on an unrelated note, you are encased in ice.

I wish I wasn't too lazy to look up "voluptuous".

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You still get a -1 for red herrings.

I wish for majesty.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. You are the majestic supreme majestic ruler of great majesty of the majestic ice-lands of majestic Epimetheus!

I wish for a cake made of lye.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but your parents won't let you touch it, either to use it or give to someone else.

I wish I knew a way to promote my game without feeling ashamed.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. Now it activates your pleasure centers directly.

I wish to live in an indestructible library containing all formally published content.

[RAM]

You are sealed in with no supplies, you have only three days before you die of dehydration, you must choose only three days' worth of literature from all of history's published works. Meh, sort of cheap, live for a limited period is technically accurate but still...
The floor consists of pyramid tiles that are impossible to lie on, you spend the rest of your life trying to find somewhere comfortable to read.
You can only access one book at a time, and they are sorted from worst to best. best to worst. As you read a page, it vanishes, never to be seen again. There is no toilet paper...

I wish for a horse to ride.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. You can ride a bronze horse for a hundred years, and you will end up almost exactly where you started.

I wish for a few pebbles of olivine.