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[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. As a free limited-time bonus, you also receive vivid auditory hallucinations.

I wish to become the greatest punster in the world.

[Lyeos]

Granted, but nobody will take anything you say seriously anymore.

I wish I had the [NONAUSEA] token.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, you get hit with evil mist.

I wish for zucchini bread.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted.

I wish to receive 2e34J of energy in any form.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You are teleported to jupiter.

I wish for a national brussels sprouts day.

[Shoruke]

Granted. Once a year, the mayor stands you in front of a cannon and you are blasted with brussel sprouts.

I wish that I could summon fresh-baked muffins at will.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but you are continually pursued by a ravenous horde of people WHO WANT SOME GODDAMN MUFFINS

I wish shoruke would GIVE ME SOME MUFFINS DAMNIT

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. The muffins seem to have become charcoal.

I wish to be bisected by monomolecular razor wire.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, before the cutting begins you get injected with a drug that increases your sensitivity to pain 1000% higher then normal. Enjoy it.

I wish for the velocirapture to occur on the day toady dies.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. However, shortly before finishing dwarf fortress Toady becomes obsessed with his own mortality. Desecrating his personal shrine in a futile attempt to achieve his goal, Raptor Jesus curses him with unlife and a thirst for bay12er blood.

It hunts us in the quiet dark.



I wish for eternal sunshine.

[Lyeos]

Granted, but it seems some Toady blood fell into your drink earlier, because vampire Toady came back in time. You are now a vampire.

I wish to learn the secrets of life and death.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You go live in a tower to do absolutely nothing for eternity.

I wish to learn the secrets of Fallout 4.

[Lyeos]

Granted, but you have to wait until it comes out before you learn them.

I wish for a tsunami of Dwarven Wine Swamp Whiskey.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. A tsunami of fermented swamp "whiskey" destroys much of your home's vicinity.

I wish for a sapient compiler.

[Comrade P.]

Granted. You black out, then wake up in a completely white room with and a epicene voice talking to you. You can't even say what about.

I wish for a political wish to be posted next.