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[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish for plumbing.

[Karkov]

Granted.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish for plumbing.

Granted.  The pipes burst frequently during the winter, and plumbers swear there's an elder god residing within your septic tank.

I wish I didn't have to do this paper for college.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You are now TA and instead must grade everyone elses' papers.

I wish to have Sunbros in real life.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You are teleported to a LARP.

I wish for PEZ.

[Dwarf4Explosives]

Granted. You accidentally eat the weird dispenser-thingy it comes with and choke to death.

I wish for the Fukushima power plant and the surrounding area to be cleaned up, in a way that does not involve Godzilla, as that'd be too obvious a way to corrupt this wish.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Rodan and Ghidora incoming!

I wish for everyone to have a catchy song lodged in their ears.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. Everyone gets a usb. Yours is on a cd.

I wish for magic tricks.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. You get sawed in half, disappear, and reappear in a water torture cell.

I wish for an endless bag of chips.

[Noel.se]

Granted. Those chips are very tasty and you can't stop eating. Needless to say, your health deteriorates very quickly.

I wish fusion reactors would become a viable source of energy.

[Tawa]

Granted. Unfortunately, Mr. Burns takes over all of them, leading to a catastrophic event in real life that mirrors the events of your average Simpsons episode, but ends in the earth being stripped down to the outer core as the power plants explode, destroying the crust and mantle. And life.

I wish for a twinkie.

[Rose]

Granted. It is an eternal twinkie. No matter how much you bite from it, there's always most of a twinkie left. You cannot stop yourself from futily trying to finish it off, and spend the rest of your short life gorging on this one twinkie.

I wish to be out of the hospital.

[Tawa]

Granted. You can no longer cover your medical bills and are thrown into the street, adding a broken limb to whatever already does/has ail/ailed you, respectively.

[Dwarf4Explosives]

Granted. Cthulhu naflfthagn Ryleh.

I wish that I hadn't wished this wish.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Granted. Additionally, you are retroactively removed from existence.

I wish to stand on a cubic meter of diamond.

[Tawa]

Granted. Gravity suddenly reverses and it crushes you.

I wish for a bag of wind, the Odyssey kind.