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[Tawa]

Granted. Of course, on an unrelated note, Pope Francis puts a $1,000,000,000 USD price on the body of Jesus. No one finds the real one, so you are deemed messiah and chased by religious bounty hunters.

I wish for a heron-marked sword.

Granted.  The sword looks correct and extremely detailed, but it is a replica made of cheap plastic (nice WoT reference by the way).

I wish for a jacket that is perfect for every occasion and temperature.

Thank you, good sir. May the Light be with you.

Granted. It's also invisible, so it can never be inappropriate for any situation. However, you lose track of it fast.

I wish I knew what was over the rainbow.

Hmmmm... I didn't see the rainbow thing at first.

Anyway, granted. However, it is a dull grey wasteland.

I wish people didn't constantly use "anyways" in conversation.
[/s]

Ninja'd, or, if you will...

Spoiler: More References (click to show/hide)

Gray Man'd

Granted. It now costs one thousand [insert appropriate currency here] more.

I wish people didn't constantly use "anyways" in conversation.

[blazing glory]

Granted,people can't speak.

I wish my little brother wouldn't watch minecraft you tube videos all day long.

[nomoetoe]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Granted. However...
When you wish for nothing, you get nothing.
When you get nothing, you want something.
When you want something, you get cable.
When you get cable, the cable needs to be repaired.
When it needs to be repaired, you get tense.
When you get tense, you can't sleep.
When you can't sleep, you need to sleep.
When you need to sleep, accidents happen.
When accidents happen, you have to survive.
When you have to survive, you eat wild berries.
When you eat wild berries, you chase imaginary butterflies into something highly illegal.
Don't chase imaginary butterflies into something highly illegal. Wish for things instead and get 100% off unintended wish corruptions.

Oops I forgot to make a wish. C:

Granted,people can't speak.

I wish my little brother wouldn't watch minecraft you tube videos all day long.

Granted, now he watches justin beiber music videos all day long.

I wish for russia to takeover all of asia, europe and africa. C;

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but this propels a cold warrior into the oval office and nukes are launched.

I wish for internet access in the car.

[Tawa]

Granted. You can now access drug dealing sites, and ONLY drug dealing sites. You are promptly arrested.

I wish for the Sword Behind Inappropriate Prepositions.

[Noel.se]

Granted. As you realize what you have done you commit suicide.
I wish for nukes.

[Tawa]

((That was a crappy corruption.))
Granted. However, you use them.

-snip- As you realize what you have done you commit suicide.
-snip-

I wish I could use the HADOKEN.

The Street Fighter one from Ryu, not the 8-Bit Theater one that drains love from the universe.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, however your body ages 5 years everytime you use HADOKEN.

I wish the universe was mine to command to control!

[Tawa]

Granted. However, you must always use commas instead of periods in order to achieve this.

I wish for an axe.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, However its made of spider webs and used toilet paper,

I wish for valve to release an album of TF2 related holiday songs,

[Tawa]

Granted. Unfortunately, he sells off TF2 at the last second and loses rights to the CD.

I wish I was better at text adventure games.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but to gain such understanding you must first program one.

I wish for two random internet subcultures to exchange identities.

[HissinhWalnuts]

Granted, Bay12 and 4chan have switched identities.



I wish for a sandwich.

[blazing glory]

Granted,you now have a hedgehog sandwich.

I wish I could zap any bees and wasps that come near me.

[HissinhWalnuts]

Granted, but when zapped, flying snakes come out.


I wish for a raccoon.