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[Tawa]

Granted. You suddenly become addicted to playing Tetris on a TV covered in chrome.

I wish that my sister hadn't randomly invited her friend over for a sleepover today.

[Lenglon]

Granted, instead it's part of a systematic plan to drive you insane, and this is only step 1.

I wish I had a pretty ribbon to wear, tied in a nice little bow, that won't impede my breathing or movement or bloodflow or whatever.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, its of the highest of quality nothing in all the world could even compare. However someone passes by while your sleeping and steals and eats it. Yum. c:

I wish the ghost of billy mays was my friend so I could watch infomercials with him.

[Tawa]

Granted. The Ghostbusters arrive and yell at the two of you until your heads explode.

I wish for pagan workshop wristwatches I wish for a fluffy cat.

EDIT: Fix'd

[Lenglon]

I wish for pagan workshop wristwatches.

((I have no idea what that is, could you explain or link?))

[Tawa]

((I picked a few random words. I had intended that whoever reads it is intended to take it as they wish. It was fun at first, but I see it's sorta boring... let me EDIT it out.))

[Spinal_Taper]

The cat is far too fluffy. It triggers allergies world-wide, the net result of the sneeze's force sending the earth careening into the sun.

I hope all shows have good endings from now on.

[nomoetoe]

You hope for shows to have good endings from now on. if only it would come true.

(you didn't wish for anything so I cant corrupt it )

I wish for the moon to turn into a giant ball of candy made from the finest human blood. C:

[Lenglon]

Granted, as you have the finest human blood, you are kidnapped and drained dry to form this candy moon.

I wish I had my ribbon back!

[Gentlefish]

Granted. It becomes your spinal column. With no back support, you're doomed to a slug-like existence.

I wish I actually had an enjoyable spring break.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. It's better than mine, at least.

I wish my cat hadn't died today.

[Tawa]

Granted. It attempts to kill you. It does not, but it is taken away and killed tomorrow.

I wish that I knew how to watch Twitch Plays Pokémon with no flash player.

[Spinal_Taper]

It involves sacrificing a few too many infants.

I wish that I was a real man.

[Noel.se]

Granted. You get hit by a train while trying to save a cat. Now they call you a real man, but you have lost your memory due to cerebral trauma.

I wish i had more time to do stuff.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, you surgically remove your ability to sleep.

I wish I could properly memorialize my cat, since I'll never get him back.