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[Erils]

Granted. They are both for the left foot.

I wish I was good at solving riddles.

[Tawa]

Granted. All the riddles in the world suddenly make no sense at all and your skill becomes useless.

I wish that was the very best, like no one ever was.

[Erils]

I wish that was the very best, like no one ever was.

Granted. That tiger is the very best at eating people, and has set his eyes on you.

I wish I knew how to prevent wish corruptions.

[Tawa]

Granted. You are now forever thrown from the Corrupt a Wish thread.

I wish to WIN.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You win a free corruption.

I wish for braces.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You undergo a painful orthodontic treatment that lasts for 4 years, and ibuprofen is banned in your local area.

I wish for cloned Elephant Birds.

[Tawa]

Granted. You figure out how to crossbreed elephants and birds and get massive Blue Crowned Conures, which are then released into the wild in your area.

IN OTHER NEWS, HugoLuman has been crushed by an elephant bird.

I wish for a jar of pens.

[tahujdt]

Granted. This jar never runs out of pens. If you take a pen out of it, another one promptly appears. It is confiscated by the SCP foundation, and you are 'recruited' as a class D.

I wish to go to the Mun in KSP.

[Erils]

Granted but you can't get back.

I wish Kerbals ruled the KSP universe.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. They are all alone.

I wish for ribbons.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, there are ribbons tying your wrists, arms, ankles and legs together as you plunge into the Atlantic ocean.

I wish for concrete!

[Erils]

Granted. It's keeping your feet on the bottom of the ocean.

I wish Kerbals existed in our universe as another sentient race that we could contact and communicate with.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. Due to their chimpanzee-like intelligence & lack of an advanced society, they mainly serve as expensive pets for morally-bankrupt billionaires.

I wish for some change.

[Erils]

Granted. You get a quarter. Go buy a gumball.

I wish for truthful cake.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. Now, if you would be so kind as to lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides, a party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party.

I wish for scale.