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[Lenglon]

Granted, but the volume of the song in your mind constantly changes randomly, sometimes being ear-deafeningly loud and other times nearly silent, with no rhyme or reason to it. You find yourself being woken up at night over and over, you can't focus on anything, as the jump-scares of the sudden sound changes suprise and distract you. Your career suffers, and so does your driving. You survive the car crash, but you end up hospitalized for several weeks to recover. While there you are identified as being clinically insane, and are carted off to an asylum, your insomnia getting worse and worse. eventually, you get sent to electroshock therapy, and an unfortunate accident occurs. Again, you survive, but your mind, your thoughts, your senses, all become horribly dulled. You become unable to take even basic care of yourself, barely more than a walking vegetable, and still, the song goes on, and on, and on. never ceaseing. never letting you get a good night's rest. never, ever, coming to an end.

I wish I escaped unharmed from Animal Control!

[WillowLuman]

Granted but part of your escape plan involved supergluing a groucho mask to your face. Even if you had hands, that's not coming off any time soon.

Did you not listen to that song? All that is still worth it! I wish for a proper volume adjusted version to play in my head, forever. Even after I'm dead.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Granted, it drives you insane.

I wish for my assignments to all be finished to an A standard.

[Gentlefish]

Granted. However, your english assignments are not because you use "an a" to describe a singular instance of all objects.

I wish I were asleep.

[Avis-Mergulus]

Granted, nightmares.

I wish I was a laser shark, with a laser on my frickin' head.

[Erils]

Granted. You are killed when the CIA's laser dolphins raid your supervillan master's base.

I wish that the 2 cats (me and JackOSpades) and the fox (Lenglon) could all live in peace.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You are all placed in chemical comas.

I wish for a stack of envelopes.
inb4 bills

[WillowLuman]

Granted. They're old and full of silverfish.

I wish I had laser dolphins.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. OH SHIT THEY'VE REPLACED YOUR GOLD FISH; MY GOD HURRY, FILL THE TUB, THEY'RE DYIIIIINNNNGGGG

I wish for a sweet friggin tub.

[WillowLuman]

sweet friggin tub.

(Was going to corrupt but then, well... Do NOT google image this.)

[JackOSpades]

I wish for a sweet friggin tub.

Granted your tub is friggin Sweet because It's made entirely out of Sugar, which of course dissolves in water so it's also impossible to use for it's intended purpose.
your bodyodor eventually becomes so unbearable that your coworkers murder you in order to find relief, luckily it's ruled a justifiable homicide and they serve no jail time.

I wish For Four Force Fortresses Forever. 

[Tawa]

Granted. Jedi build you four dwarf fortresses, turn to the Sith, and set the dwarves on you.

I wish for a rural haystack.

(Running my finger all over a Kindle Fire HD's keyboard is fun!)

[Erils]

Granted. You jump in and impale yourself on the needle.

I wish for amazingly good luck with no bad luck or bad situations accompanying it.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted, but you forget you made the wish. You convince yourself you're in dreamland and an-hero.

I wish for a quesadilla.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. It is your new house.

I wish for 7-league boots.