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[RAM]

You are now a master of speed-lines, able to form the most static of foregrounds into a blaze of motion. Speed-lines become your only outlet, friends, colleges, businesses all clamour for your services! But then detailed backgrounds become fashionable, speed-lines are now taboo. Nobody wants even to be associated with your reputation. You and your unparalleled skills vanish into obscurity and are forgotten forever.

I wish for a pretty pony.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You wake up next to the severed head of a pretty miniature horse.

I wish for GLORIOUS HAM.

[darkpaladin109]

Granted. You receive a DVD of Face/Off.

I wish that our world was a game of Civlization.

[Tawa]

Granted. A bug in Civlization, whatever that is, crashes the world.

I wish for a sword.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Granted, its made of poop.

I wish for a telepad.

[jaxy15]

Granted. It can only teleport you to one location, the center of the sun.

I wish for a bowl of cereal.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. Doom 3.
Granted. No milk.

I wish for a painting.

[Tawa]

Granted. Suddenly, a framed picture of poorly painted stick figures in varying, bright hues arrives at your doorstep. You hang it on the wall in full view of a window.

A few weeks later, a child and his mother walk by, and they spot the picture through the window. They immediately call the police, thinking you stole the child's greatest picture yet.

I wish for a cookie.

[WillowLuman]

Granted.

I wish for an electric motorcycle.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. It's a scooter, but looks like this.

I wish for a fan.
inb4 oblivionadoringfan

[WillowLuman]

I wish for a flashlight.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

_{Highlight my post.}

Granted. Your phone breaks, it is now a permanent flashlight whenever the battery's in.

I wish for a baritone voice.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Granted, but you can only speak when the baritone voice is appropriate.

I wish for my assignments to be done.

[Gentlefish]

Granted. You turn in blank sheets of paper as "done".

I wish I didn't have to retake calculus for the second time.

[Erils]

Granted. The rules of mathematics are re-written so that calculus becomes completely unnecesary. However, everyone is now required to take a course in Quantum Physics instead.

I wish that I was better at debating.