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[WillowLuman]

Granted, but there is only enough consensus to grant the Beiber wish. And, being polite, the Canadians still let him sing.

I wish for rain boots; got some tunnels to explore.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. They were previously used by a gay couple.

I wish for a bank teller gay couple.

[WillowLuman]

You get a happy straight couple from the 1890's

I wish for a 200mw green laser. For the emitter, mind you, I do not wish to be struck with the beam.

[darkpaladin109]

Granted. You area arrested for possesing "illegal weaponry" by the police.

I wish that I had control over the race of Alternate-Dimension Cookie People that fly around on cups of milk.

[Tawa]

Granted. You attempt to make them all fly into your mouth and choke.

I wish I was in the Dungeons of Doom.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You faint! The kitten bites! You die...

I wish for his possessions to be identified.

[Tawa]

Granted. They are:

A clear potion
A +0 uncursed cloak
A +2 blessed quarterstaff
A cursed wand of fire

Wait, what was that last one?

*Suddenly, as you shift around the body of the Tawarochir, a bolt of fire zaps from the wand! The bolt of fire hits a clear potion! A clear potion explodes! You die...*

I wish I could get ahold of the Amulet of Yendor.

[Darkond2100]

Granted. You grab it while it's still around the high priest's neck. A sudden geyser slams into you from nowhere! You've been dealt 48 damage.

I wish for the ability to turn myself and anything I'm holding visible or truly invisible at will.

[Helgoland]

Granted. Everyone else is granted "See Invisible".

I wish I could curse in more languages.

[Comrade P.]

Granted. Чтоб ты жил в эпоху перемен, едрить твою растудыть! - copy/paste it, it is a curse in russian.

I wish I had LeMat revolver adapted properly for centerfire ammunition.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. However, you don't have a permit for a gun, and so wind up in jail. I'm in here too, they took my laser pen.

I wish the jail was the Dungeons of Doom.

[Tawa]

Granted. You and Comrade P. venture to the deepest levels of the dungeon, where you get ahold of the Amulet of Yendor and transcend through the Four *SPOILER*s. You are about to ascend, when...

Death strikes Comrade P.!
Comrade P. yowls!
Comrade P. dies!
Death strikes you!
You yowl!
You die...

I wish for more KFC.

[Erils]

Granted. Enjoy your angry Kung Fu Children. Would you like some fries with that?

I wish that I was more creative.

[Tawa]

Granted. Your creativity is large enough that it causes your brain to grow too big for your head.

Your brain grows!
The brain pushes the skull, bruising the muscle, tearing the skull!

Erils has been struck down.

I wish for the drive to play DF again.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted, you become sick of it before the next release.

I wish for a three-ring binder. Of gay couple.