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[jaxy15]

Granted. You get the incredible superpower of being invisible as long as you are not being observed.

I wish for non-poisoned food.

[Dwarf4Explosives]

Granted. There is an edible tracking device in the plate of pasta you are served, which a missile uses to strike your exact location. Seeing as it is not filled with explosives, that means a missile is forever ramming into the part of your body currently containing your food. Have fun!

I wish for the moon to be a piece of cheese, inhabited by robot mice.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. It's surface melts into a smooth, caramelized plain from the heat of the sun, becoming a featureless dull-brown orb.

I wish for this storm to get even more intense. (seriously, awesome weather here right now)

[Tawa]

Granted. It does and your house blows away, piece by piece, until there is nothing left of it.

I wish I knew how to code C++. That's serious.

[wer6]

Granted, however before your able to code anything C+++ is released, rendering it useless, and C+++ impossibly different then C++.

[Tawa]

I'm going to pretend you wished for something.

Granted. You get nothing, because nothing is something.

I wish it was noon on the summer solstice at all times.

Wait, wait. No.

I wish the entire world universe was made of Legos. (Well, technically, it's LEGO, but whatever.)

[Aseaheru]

Granted. However, due to the fact that everything is solid... well... Good luck!

I wish people wanted to play Day-Z standalone with me, help me out and take some of these fucking saline bags and guns off me.
Without my death.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Instead of killing you, they shackle you in a remote basement and force-feed you 500 Twinkies.

I wish for a boat.

[Tawa]

Granted, but you get lost in a storm and set ground kn the shore of an uncharted desert isle
With Gilligan! The skipper too! The millionaire, and his wife! The movie star, the professor and Mary Ann, all here on Gilligan's Island!

I wish for a long-sleeved red shirt, a pair of very light blue jeans, and a goofy sailor's hat.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. However, wearing a red shirt, the Universe has marked you for violent death in the near future.

I wish for everyone to be struck by lightning every time they make a reference.

[Tawa]

Granted, but the lightning is really a pleasant rain of cookies

I wish for cooki-

Um, Game of Thrones.

NOMNOMNOM

I wish for candy.

[Dwarf4Explosives]

Granted. It being made of LEGO bricks, you choke on it.

I wish the world was a squid. Not particularly large or anything. Just a normal-sized squid.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. However, that makes you a parasitic squid mite.

I wish for a ray the converts stuff to Lego.

[tahujdt]

Granted. However, whenever you convert something to LEGO, a villain shoots it with his take-a-particle beam.

I wish that my Boy Scout troop's fundraising chili supper will do well.

[Playergamer]

Granted. The evil troop leader successfully poisons everyone who attends.

I wish that the NEO Scavenger DMC guards wore armored pants. I mean really, you can afford tactical vests, helmets, and shotguns, but not pants that can slow a bullet?