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[Erils]

Granted, they let the giants kill you instead.

I wish that giants would stop attacking.

[Lenglon]

Granted, instead the little people kidnap your family while you sleep.

I wish I returned to being a fox!

[jaxy15]

Granted. You are now a non-sapient fox. Forever.

I wish for the next version of Dwarf Fortress already.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. It's released in its currently dismantled, unplayable state.

I wish Lenglon was Erwin Rommel, thus creating a pun.

[Lenglon]

...
yip?

[WillowLuman]

Erwin Johannes Eugen Rommel (15 November 1891 – 14 October 1944), popularly known as the Desert Fox (Wüstenfuchs), was a German Field Marshal of World War II. He earned the respect of both his own troops and his enemies.

I wish for some ice cream.

[lemon10]

Granted, you get some ice cream. A murder comes to give you some, and its completely rancid and disgusting. You have to eat it anyways because otherwise he will kill you. You manage to choke it all down, but the resulting stomach problems plague you for weeks.

I wish for a golden calf.

[tahujdt]

Granted. When you try to stand up, your calf bends because pure gold cannot support much weight. You are now unable to walk.

I wish for some bleu cheese.

[lemon10]

Granted. You buy some from a store on the internet, and discover that the newly invented bleu cheese is terrible and bland and tasteless.

I wish horses gained sentience, causing the Mongolian horselords to rise to power once more and take over the world.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. The horses object to their portrayal in certain shows and the eons of servitude, and start trying to exterminate mankind. The Mongolian horselords, however, turn them all into glue, as without the ability to operate modern weapons the horses don't put up much of a fight.

I wish I could get that song from "The Lego Movie" out of my head.

[tahujdt]

Granted. The horses object to their portrayal in certain shows and the eons of servitude, and start trying to exterminate mankind. The Mongolian horselords, however, turn them all into glue, as without the ability to operate modern weapons the horses don't put up much of a fight.

I wish I could get that song from "The Lego Movie" out of my head.

Granted, however, you are forced to listen to my mom sing it eternally. Really, ever since she heard it, it's all she ever sings.

I wish she would stop singing that song.

[WillowLuman]

(Wait, seriously?)
Granted. I start singing it. EVERYTHING IS AWESO-

No.

I wish to see that movie again, for free.

[Erils]

Granted. You pirate it off the internet. The FBI arrests you the very next day.

I wish that I could see the Lego Movie.

[Comrade P.]

Granted. You watch the documentary film about how Lego Company was born and ascended. Quite boring.

I wish my phone's body to be made of brass instead of plastic.

[IronTomato]

Granted. It's heavy, and an exposed wire inside of it causes your phone to shock you when you touch it.

I wish I could give my teacher the finger.