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[flame99]

Granted. However, no one knows what you're saying.

I wish I understood why people liked "What Does the Fox Say" as much as I do.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. They're all certifiably insane.

I wish for one of those cube-shaped macguffins. Any one will do, as long as it's from a franchise I've heard of.

[RAM]

You inherit the jawa sand-vehicle from Starwars after its previous owners were killed by Storm troopers Sand people. You find yourself standing before it, staring at the craters in its propulsion systems, in a desolate sandy expanse, With a foreboding feeling about your adoptive parents...

I wish for Candy-canes covered in chocolate covered in ice-cream covered in red liquorice.

[WillowLuman]

You inherit the jawa sand-vehicle from Starwars after its previous owners were killed by Storm troopers Sand people. You find yourself standing before it, staring at the craters in its propulsion systems, in a desolate sandy expanse, With a foreboding feeling about your adoptive parents...

That's not a macguffin!

[tahujdt]

You inherit the jawa sand-vehicle from Starwars after its previous owners were killed by Storm troopers Sand people. You find yourself standing before it, staring at the craters in its propulsion systems, in a desolate sandy expanse, With a foreboding feeling about your adoptive parents...

That's not a macguffin!

Then I wish you would turn it into one.

[Lenglon]

I wish for one of those cube-shaped macguffins. Any one will do, as long as it's from a franchise I've heard of.

I wish for Candy-canes covered in chocolate covered in ice-cream covered in red liquorice.

You inherit the jawa sand-vehicle from Starwars after its previous owners were killed by Storm troopers Sand people. You find yourself standing before it, staring at the craters in its propulsion systems, in a desolate sandy expanse, With a foreboding feeling about your adoptive parents...

That's not a macguffin!

Then I wish you would turn it into one.

All three granted, You-

I wish I was a fox.

Granted. However, no one knows what you're saying.

Jhruff! Jhruff! Jhruff! graouh graouh Graouh ghraneauh!
?.?
>.>
...
wharah?
Yhiriff?

[Empiricist]

I wish for a false-vacuum decay to occur every five seconds.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but you don't notice it as it only occurs in the trouser-legs of time that your particular life isn't leading down.

Jhruff! Jhruff! Jhruff! graouh graouh Graouh ghraneauh!
?.?
>.>
...
wharah?
Yhiriff?

Granted. Fool! You should not have abandoned the advantages of opposable thumbs and vocal communication! Now you shall be subjegated under the glorious Primate Master Taxa!

I wish for Humans, Chimpanzees, Bonobos, Gorillas, and Orangutangs to come together and form a single unstoppable empire that conquers the entire universe. All hail the great apes!

[Helgoland]

Granted. Your girlfriend is stolen by a silverback with a 1" wiener.

I wish this wish didn't come true.

[IronTomato]

Granted. Your wish was for it not to come true, and your wish was also for it not to come true, therefore your wish does come true, and you are sucked into the vacuum on account of the fact that there was no real wish, other than that. That was what you wanted, right?

I wish for some skittles.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Here are some skittles and victuals from the 19th century. They haven't aged well.

I wish for jet-powered rocket pants. Extremely !!FUN!! ones.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You get a pair of ☼!!rope reed jet-powered rocket pants!!☼. They burn up really quickly and you are left with nothing but ashes. How fun.

I wish for Pokemon to become real and not kill everybody.

[Helgoland]

Granted. They kill everybody but you, then hand you a gun with one bullet.

I wish I had more food in my room.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. It attracts vermin.

I wish all firearms used rock, paper, or scissors as ammunition.

[flame99]

Granted. This leads to massive mining operations to get more ammunition for the more deadly rock and scissor guns, both for iron to make the scissors with as well as just decently sized and dense rocks. These operations continue until the earth is a precarious mess of barely-supported tunnels dug by unskilled cheap laborers who have no idea how to stop a cavern from collapsing. One day, however, the laborers get tired of the constant mining, and attack the governments of the world that are forcing them to dig. The chop and burn the already dangerously made supports, until one day, the Earth begins to collapse. The caves fall, creating earthquakes that destroy more, until these constant quakes and sinkholes destroy the planet's surface, killing all but a handful of humans, and though they still live, they have no chance of survival with such small numbers. One way or another, humanity is doomed to extinction, just some take place slightly slower than others.

I wish that the Kleer Skeletons in Serious Sam Classic did half the damage they currently do on the hardest difficulty.