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Author Topic: Corrupt a wish!  (Read 1296966 times)

Erils

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14550 on: January 06, 2014, 12:49:34 pm »

You find it in tv tropes by chance.

You are trapped now. MUAHAHAHAH.

Is that a wish? or am I supposed to grant something random out of what you said? (like what Urist McScoopbeard said to do)
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RadtheCad

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14551 on: January 10, 2014, 05:47:08 am »

Granted.  You are now a potato.

I wish I had the power to !!ROCK!!
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You have to kill your son or nuke the commonwealth.

Ultimuh

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14552 on: January 10, 2014, 05:54:39 am »

Granted, you are now a rock.

I wish I had Morgan Freeman's voice.
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Helgoland

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14553 on: January 10, 2014, 06:32:29 am »

Granted. Everything around you turns into solid gold as soon as you start to speak.

I wish my liver processed alcohol twice as quick.
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Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14554 on: January 10, 2014, 11:25:44 am »

Granted. Your liver does indeed process alcohol quicker, and after spending some time drinking copious amounts of every beverage you can get your hands on, you form a brilliant plan in your head.
You enter the local bar, and claim that you can drink anybody under the table, and that you're willing to bet money on it. There's no shortage of fools who wish to face the wrath of your beer gut, but you vanquish them like flies! Soon, you're a local celebrity, and after some time, gambling on for how many drinks a challenger can last has become the sport of choice in your city. You're rich and famous. No one has ever defeated you in a drinking contest.
However, what you did not consider is that your occupation creates some very attractive opportunities for instant enrichment for people of an unscrupulous sort. Once, you're approached by a man who offers you a tremendous sum for you to lose your next contest deliberately, and promises retribution if you don't do as you're told. Of course, you refuse. You have your reputation to consider.
A few days pass, and you begin to forget about the incident. But your adversary hasn't forgotten about you. When you're walking back home, slightly tipsy after another victory, you're cornered by a pair of thugs in a dark alley. They beat you to death with beer bottles, and stuff the bottles into the mouth of your corpse, mocking your carcass as it lies there broken, its eyes staring up in terror and incomprehension.
Your funeral is a closed-casket one. Your parents weep and curse themselves for not having raised you better. Your fanclub is devastated. They stand vigil at your grave day and night.
However, you are quickly forgotten. After all, all you did was drink a lot. Is that what you wished to do with your life?

I wish I had the miraculous power to resolve every interpersonal conflict in my favor.
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“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

ShadowStrike

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14555 on: January 10, 2014, 12:15:24 pm »

Granted, now you have the miraculous power to resolve every interpersonal conflict in your favor... inside your mind. The negative side of it is that you were disconnected from reality for the wish to be granted, which means you're now inexistent.

I wish to have more 2 arms which I can control and will not do anything without my authorization.
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The second best way to destroy non-serious and non-sensical posts is to dump a whole load of cold scientific facts on it.

Helgoland

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14556 on: January 10, 2014, 12:26:12 pm »

Granted. You're sentenced to twenty years of hard labor, because slavery is illegal.

I wish I had a sandwich which said things of great intellectual value.
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The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

timferius

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14557 on: January 10, 2014, 12:31:40 pm »

Granted. You're sentenced to twenty years of hard labor, because slavery is illegal.

I wish I had a sandwich which said things of great intellectual value.

Granted, in fact, it's essay on Death and the Meaningless of Life, delivered as you were eating it, still stirs your very soul. So much so that you can not even look at a sandwich without becoming overwhelemd by grief.

I wish that, upon my death, I become a Poltergeist, so as to harrass those who annoy me in life. And their children, and their children's children. etc.
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Baffler

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14558 on: January 10, 2014, 04:38:41 pm »

Granted. You annoy relatives for a few years until they call the Ghostbusters, and you are trapped in a sealed flask for the rest of eternity. Or at least until the flask decomposes.

I wish that I was always able, but not required, to say something witty about any topic.

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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

Helgoland

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14559 on: January 10, 2014, 06:14:46 pm »

Granted. You have no friends, nobody who wants your opinion; you die a lonely alcoholic.

I wish I had a bigger flat.
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The Bay12 postcard club
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

WillowLuman

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14560 on: January 10, 2014, 08:06:00 pm »

Granted. Here is the Limeware Platter, the biggest and most expensive piece of flatware I could steal.

I wish for Limeware platters to return as an easter egg in a future TES game.
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Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Baffler

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14561 on: January 10, 2014, 09:13:01 pm »

Granted. The Limeware Platter trade comes to dominate the economy. Eventually overproduction leads to the platters being worthless, and the joke is no longer funny.

I wish Blizzard would start making Warcraft RTS games again.
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

WillowLuman

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14562 on: January 10, 2014, 09:23:03 pm »

Granted. They abandon WOW to do so, opening a massive market niche and leading to a golden age of innovation for MMO's. Single player games die out completely and Blizzard tries to regain their cash cow, but that ship has sailed.

I wish for MMO's to innovate, they're pretty crap right now.
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Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Proto105

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14563 on: January 11, 2014, 05:33:03 am »

Granted, the games are so realistic, when you die ingame you die IRL.

I wish for my computer to magically upgrade himself to reasonable specs.
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Nightscar982

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Re: Corrupt a wish!
« Reply #14564 on: January 11, 2014, 05:40:57 am »

Granted, but the computer uses blood magic, and only your fresh blood works.

I wish for updates to come out faster for my favourite game, Red Orchestra 2.
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In all things you were. In nothing you become.
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