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[RAM]

I wish to make things easy for the next poster.

Granted, corrupt intentions replaced with subjectively purer content.

I wish that everyone involved in reality television was intelligent, thoughtful, polite, and compassionate in excess of any opposing traits.

[Avis-Mergulus]

Congratulations, you donghole. You have just taken away the things that made reality TV reality TV. There is no reality television anymore.
Arguably, that's for the best.

I wish it was my birthday today.

[Erils]

Granted. You have a big birthday party with everyone on Earth which, after the recent apocalypse, is just you. Happy Birthday!

I wish that I knew what the answer to the question of life, the universe,and everything was.

[HissinhWalnuts]

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I wish for a enchilada.

[Erils]

Granted. You get a rabid, man-eating enchilada (pronounced ne-chi-lah-dah) from outer space, a picture of an enchilada, and persecution at the hands of Grammer Nazis.

I wish that I knew what to wish for.

[RAM]

You know that you really should wish for peace and love and pink unicorns and all that wonderful stuff, but it sounds uncomfortable, so you wish for a pizza instead because it seems like a safer choice.

I wish to be Godzilla.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

You know that you really should wish for peace and love and pink unicorns and all that wonderful stuff, but it sounds uncomfortable, so you wish for a pizza instead because it seems like a safer choice.

I wish to be Godzilla.

Granted you are now a God named Zilla, you are extremely obscure and thus your only power is to make it rain in one random location once per year.

I wish for friends to play killing floor with D:

[Audioworm333]

Granted. They're huge assholes and screw you over as a joke at every opportunity.

[Lenglon]

Granted. They're huge assholes and screw you over as a joke at every opportunity.

You're missing something.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Granted. They're huge assholes and screw you over as a joke at every opportunity.

You're missing something.

Granted! he's missing a hand! leg! face!

I wish instead of granting wishes we grant random things people say in this thread... after granting this wish!

[Lenglon]

Granted, people are randomized. You're now GreatWyrmGold.

I have a tail to tell the teller of the toll. I wish I knew what it was he told.

[tahujdt]

Before I can tell  what the teller told, you must first tell whether you wanted to tell a tail, or a tale of a tail. What would this tale entail? Please tell in detail without fail. I wish people in this thread would contribute to the Internet Oracle.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Sturgeon's law applies, with extreme prejudice.

I wish for more Red Dwarf, or at least a show of similar premise and quality.

[Erils]

Granted. The show Blue Dwarf comes out. It has the exact same premise as Red Dwarf because it re-uses the scenarios and scripts from Red Dwarf.

I wish I had a way of finding out what Sturgeon's law is before I google it.

[Broken]

You find it in tv tropes by chance.

You are trapped now. MUAHAHAHAH.