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[IronTomato]

Granted. Walnuts is your lighter.

I wish for a pie.

[wer6]

Granted, However its the size of A large Freight box, and there appears to be A bunch of Angry romans inside, that have reacently got roasted, but are still alive, but VERY angry, they also appear to be Centurians.

I wish to be A Roman Emperor.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You get assassinated by the Senate and the Praetorian guard at once.

I wish for a warm pair of socks. But not overly warm.

[wer6]

granted, they are made of your skin, freshly taken off, from, you.

I wish for A pot of god

[March]

You get a pot of imaginary religious idol, its presence destroys your mind trying to comprehend it.

I wish for music.

[Helgoland]

Granted. It is unpleasant-sounding and slightly racist.

I wish for the reopening of the Stupid Things thread.

[wer6]

granted, but then Toady closes it down.

I wish for a bowl of WUBBAJACK.

[IronTomato]

Granted. Instead, you get a bowl of cheese. Wait, scratch that. A bowl of nothing. That could be better if you don't like cheese, right?

I wish for an Elder Scroll.

[HissinhWalnuts]

Granted, but your not a moth priest or dragon born so you cant read it normally.



I wish Zero-K chickens weren't called chickens.

[Lord_lemonpie]

Granted, they are now called turkeys. They are all extinct because of Thanksgiving.


I wish for a hamburger

[Helgoland]

Granted, but that hanseate sure is pissed at you.

I wish for food right nao.

[Lord_lemonpie]

Granted, you get some Hákarl


I wish for better marks.

[wer6]

Granted, the marks are placed on your skull, with a axe.

I wish for A shotty.

[Cheesecake]

You get a shotty, as well as a couple of bullet-holes.

I wish for faster interweb.

[JackOSpades]

Granted the web is far to fast for you to dodge and it entangles you, you are unable to break free no matter how much you struggle as the horrifying colossal spider reels you in slowly so that it can paralyze you before laying it's eggs inside your torso.
you can feel happy in that you are contributing to the cycle of life though so there's that.

I wish I knew what confused people about my last wish