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[Erils]

Granted, you get a pair of severed eagle wings. These wings are covered in blood and feathers and bloody feathers. They also stink really badly.

I wish that I (the cat) could not be diabetic anymore.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You're still lactose intolerant, though.

I wish for a soft landing, seeing as I've apparently been launched at high speed from somewhere.

[JackOSpades]

Granted, your target is a pile of fluffy pillows unfortunately you have been launched at relativistic speeds by a particle accelerator so any sort of landing is going to be quite "Energetic" http://what-if.xkcd.com/1/

I wish for more explosions.

[Hanslanda]

Granted. The first one kills you and you don't get to see the rest.

I wish I had gopher.

[JackOSpades]

Granted, it's the one from Caddy Shack which slowly drives you Insane until you eventually attempt to exterminate it with far too many explosives blowing both of us up in the process...

I wish for more continuing storyline wish corruptions.

[Gentlefish]

granted. However, all storylines are so corrupted such that all wish corruptions are part of the same Great White Noise.

I wish to spear the Great White Noise.

[JackOSpades]

Granted however this is deemed a racially motivated Hate Crime and you spend many years in prison as a result.

I wish for less political correctness.

[Helgoland]

Granted. Now, everything's youtube comments.

I wish for no corruption.

[HissinhWalnuts]

Granted you get crimson.

I wish for no crimson.

[JackOSpades]

Granted your insides turn Azure instead.

I wish for it to continuously rain in an area of no more than two feet in diameter located directly over the next person to post.

[HissinhWalnuts]

Granted but I have a particle shield stopping the water.

Enchilada NOW!

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but it's not on a plate. Also, it attacks you because you made this wish already.

I wish for a harpoon. And surprise me, I'm fully expecting the obvious thing here.

[JackOSpades]

here you go one App to help you manage your finances http://harpoonapp.com/, never fail to expect the unexpected.

I wish I could always expect the unexpectable.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You're the only one that saw the Gamma Ray Burst coming, for instance.

I wish we never get hit by a Gamma Ray Burst.

[JackOSpades]

Granted, you are hit by a Death Ray Instead, you gain the miraculous power to involuntarily turn into a pile of Ash, only the one time though.

I wish for a Death Ray and enough power to fire it.