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[WillowLuman]

Granted, but they are poorly spelled.

I wish I was healthy.

[Aseaheru]

Granted? You sorta have a bone sticking out of your privates...

I wish I could get my BYOND SS13 game to let me screw around as an admin.

[wer6]

Perfectly normal wishs then!

Granted, however shortly after your moment of healthyness is ended by half your bodily mass being replaced by spiders.

ninjas.

Granted, however you only have one command as admin, and its "deadmin"

[JackOSpades]

Granted, but I Ignore your lack of wishes in favor of continuing the game.

I wish upon a star.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You make a wish while standing on the surface of a Star. An odd method of execution, but it doesn't stop you from wishing to be saved right up until the very end.

I wish for spiders.

[wer6]

Granted, you are spider.

I wish for Hugoluman, the spider.

[WillowLuman]

(made me sad, because my tarantula recently passed away)
Here I am, sad spider.

I wish for less sadness.

[JackOSpades]

Granted, you have less sadness but much more pain and fear as the spider god devours your face for all eternity for imprisoning one of his followers.

I wish more wishes ended in unexpected ways.

[WillowLuman]

Granted.

I wish CHUCK NERRIS

[JackOSpades]

Granted, you receive Chuck Nerris, no relation to Chuck Norris he's not even a martial artist action movie star or anything so he doesn't do much except whine about going home to his wife and kids... what a loser, are those sirens in the background?

I wish to know the unknowable.

[IronTomato]

One does not simply know something that is unknowable. In order to that, it would have to become knowable, and then your wish would be invalidated completely because nothing is unknowable.

You've created a time paradox!

I wish everything made sense.

[JackOSpades]

Granted, you double over in agony because you can now Sense EVERYTHING, thoughts, emotions, molecular structures, the paradoxical dual state of quantum particles in Rigel 6 EVERYTHING including your self sensing everything all at once which creates a feedback loop that causes you head to explode which you sense in infinite slowness until suddenly you sense nothing at all ever again.

I wish for you to appreciate the thought that went into that answer.

[IronTomato]

Oh, I do. 

I wish for a soda.

[JackOSpades]

Granted you receive a box of Baking Soda

I wish that were less underwhelming.

[IronTomato]

Granted.

FUCK YEAH BAKING SODA! *Does a jolly dance*

I wish I was a cat again.