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[Lenglon]

Granted, Cassandra.

(in case you don't know mythology, Cassandra was a perfectly accurate seer who was cursed to never have any of her prophesies believed. aka, you'll be right, but nobody will ever believe you or join your cause.)

I wish for my eyes to change colors to depict my moods.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. The operation replaced your eyeballs with two bulbs of light that change between green, yellow and red to depict your mood.

Unfortunately, your eyes are very sensitive to water pressure, and you're forced to protect some stupid woman locked up in a tower for as long as you live. As a gigantic, winged monster.

I wish I was a wish.

[RAM]

You are given the the stereotypical 14 year old male on the internet.

I wish that I don't have to make a wish now.

[Lenglon]

Granted.

I wish for 30,000lb of bananas.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Here, catch.

I wish for an annual Bay12 musical from now on.

[Weirdsound]

Granted. It is performed by Toady's cat Scamps outside your window while you are trying to sleep. Every, single, night.

I wish I had a new wallet. My current one is falling apart.

[Lenglon]

Granted, you get a new !!wallet!!. your old one will probably outlive it.

(and i guess Hugo didn't get the song reference?)

I wish reality would bend to add "WITH LASERS!" at the end of all descriptions including me in them. and those descriptions would be accurate.

EX: Lenglon opened the door, WITH LASERS!

[Gentlefish]

granted. Every time you attempt to consummate your love with a significant other, they're torn to shreds by the lasers. The memories of this haunt you for your life.

I wish I didn't need a college education for my career choice.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. Your career choice has been changed. Let's see...prostitution rickshaw driver.

I wish for a sweet ride.

[Demdemeh]

Granted. It's Pufferfish's rickshaw.

I wish that I could be the man who sold the world.

[Ameablable]

Granted. But you sold it to a sleazy daemon who doesnt have the money and stabs you in the back (quite literally) and you die.

I wish i could make an uncorruptable wish.

[Lenglon]

Granted. you could. you didn't, but you could. try harder next time.

I wish i had a stack of fresh hot pancakes.

[RAM]

Well, they are fresh, they are hot, and they are just sitting there. But the dog is just sitting there next to them, look intensely satisfied. I mean, you would know if they had been licked, wouldn't you? They can't be absorbent enough that they wouldn't? But if you were a dog, you would have licked them, and the dog looks VERY pleased with itself. I mewan, how bad can dog saliva be, dogs eat it all the time? No, eww, it is just disgusting, I don't want them anymore, dog can have them.

I wish for a friend.

[Iceblaster]

Granted, but he leaves you when you need him most

I wish I had a pet turtle

[Ameablable]

Granted but it has turtle cancer.

I wish i smelled like a lemon.