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[Remuthra]

YOU JUST WON THE GAME!

This causes you to think about the Game.
YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!
PLAY AGAIN?

I wish I had access to the Unlockables section of the Game.

[RAM]

It is an endless horror of confusing menus and perverse insults to logic and reason. You accidentally activate solo mode to make yourself the only player. After hours of futile searching for a means to restore the other players, you use the reset ability, which restores it to its basic setting, completely devoid of anything that is unlocked. You spend years trying to figure out what you did wrong...

I wish for something nice to be said about me.

[Demdemeh]

When you wake up the next morning, you notice that all of the newspapers have published statements praising you. However, on closer examination, you realize that these statements are all quotes from some of the most heinous individuals of human history. Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Adolf Hitler, and many other horrific monsters have said some very flattering things about you, and you are now associated with them for all eternity.

I wish that I could travel any distance instantly with no effort.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. A stray thought takes you to Glasgow, where you get immediately shanked.

I wish that when someone wishes for something bad, people actually corrupt it instead of giving the expected bad result.

[Remuthra]

Granted. They start by corrupting your wish so everyone gives the expected bad result. I wish for a TARDIS. My wish is corrupted into causing the timeline to split, with the main timeline ending up back to when you made your wish, but with the pre-split wishes' effects still in place so as not to cause the same result, via me knowing this and giving you this explanation.

I wish for a TARDIS.

[Just Some Guy]

Granted. But there's daleks inside.

I wish I was the Dalek emperor.

[Demdemeh]

You are. Unfortunately, you are in the custody of a squadron of Cybermen currently fighting against Weeping Angels, with known, unidentified Silence infiltration.

I wish I had my own sonic screwdriver.

[P(ony)SI]

Granted. You have a screwdriver that, once spun, creates supersonic sound waves that break the sound barrier, destroying everything around you, including yourself.

I wish people didn't drink alcohol.

[Emral282]

Granted. The alcohol industry collapses causing the government to spend billions on bailouts eventually causing the destruction of the entire economy.
But at least everyone is sober.

I wish for a bar of pure gold.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Why'd you want what we make tissues out of is beyond me, though.

(What I meant by my last wish, seems like if someone says "I wish for a meteor to strike the planet," they get they "corruption" of "granted, but it kills everyone" instead of, say, "it destroys only your house.")

I wish for a paper, pencil, and idea.

[Weirdsound]

Granted. Have fun writing Twilight fanfic!

I wish for a better mouse for my PC.

[Rolepgeek]

Granted, but it demands better pay, and when you refuse, it leaves, taking your PC.

I wish I had a legally obtained extremely high-tech and non-breaking-down computer. That is immune to viruses.

[RAM]

Unfortunately, While windows 2222 is immune to today's viruses, it has no sense of backwards-compatibility, and current operating systems wouldn't be able to operate a semi-fiction-state hard drive...

I wish to be alone.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. This box with 6 feet of earthen insulation should provide suitable space for quiet meditation.

I wish for another Wizardry game, a true sequel of amazing quality.

[Demdemeh]

Granted. Unfortunately, it's written for the Commodore 64.

I wish to have already completed my degree, and have a doctorate.