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[RAM]

You get HugoLuman's job, enjoy...

I wish for witty banter.

[Rose]

Granted, you have a wonderful talk about pancakes. It never ends.

I wish I wasn't so bad as social stuff.

[Just Some Guy]

Granted. Now you're worse than social stuff.

I wish I had a better work ethic.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Granted, you never want to stop working for anything.

I wish that dragons existed in reality, on our planet, were not killed on sight, and did not kill on sight.

[timferius]

Granted, you never want to stop working for anything.

I wish that dragons existed in reality, on our planet, were not killed on sight, and did not kill on sight.

They did not kill on site. They became our friends, part of society. Soon, they showed up in key industries, then politics. We were grateful for them, they were strong and brilliant. Then, they came to power. Without us noticing, they were in charge of every major government and corporation in the world. It was a bloodless reveloution. We were subjigated, became nothing more than slaves, the dragons ruled with iron claw.

I wish I was the leader of said dragons (and a dragon myself).

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You're Ord, and are easily manipulated by interest groups. Society falls, humanity rebels with nuclear weapons, Earth is sterilized.

I wish that, if aliens ever invade to devour Humanity, we at least turn out to be lethally poisonous to them.

[intelligentmoron]

Granted, due the deadly nature of the human appendix legislation is passed in space parliament in order to strictly control the preparation and cooking of Homo sapiens. Due to the exotic nature of the dish, it is popular galaxy wide.

I wish for the next person to post to go kick a puppy.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You get a puppy. Guess which one gets kicked?

I wish for a 5-wheeled car.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Granted. The fifth wheel is a spare.

I wish I could fly.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Granted, you can only fly down.

I wish to undo this wish.

[RAM]

The consequences of your wish are that you are not slowly tortured to death, but everything that you ever care about becomes hostile to you.

I wish for a surprise.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted! You get a !SURPRISE! trans-orbital lobotomy! They botch it and somehow remove all your memory! EVERYTHING IS A SURPRISE NOW!

I wish for a glass of heavy water. For drinking. Which isn't irradiated/contaminated.

[Remuthra]

You receive a 100ml glass of water weighing 100000 mg minus the glass. That sure is a lot!

I wish I had an army of obediant dwarven slaves.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. You are willy wonka.

I wish for a glass of non-irradiated/contaminated ²H₂O.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You are instantly transported to a comet in the Oort cloud to help yourself.

I wish for this wish to be incorruptible.